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Neal Wooten
Neal Wooten grew up on a pig farm on Sand Mountain in the northeast corner of Alabama before being dragged kicking and screaming to the snow-infested plains of the American Midwest. He now resides in Milwaukee with his wife and three dogs.

He is a columnist for The Mountain Valley News, an author, artist, and a standup comedian. His work has appeared in several anthologies and magazines.

He is the author of Reternity, a sci-fi novel based on the Bible, which has won eight national awards and named to Kirkus Reviews Best of 2011. His new book, The Balance, a gay-themed sci-fi novel, will be released by Bold Strokes Books in April 2014.

Entries by Neal Wooten

Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy and My Dad: Not So Black & White

(0) Comments | Posted February 26, 2015 | 3:29 PM

The year 1983 was a great year in my life. I graduated high school, bought my first car, and Eddie Murphy came out with Delirious. A classmate loaned me the tape one day and explained that Murphy was very funny. I remembered him from SNL, so I figured it would...

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Williams vs. O'Reilly

(0) Comments | Posted February 23, 2015 | 7:02 PM

It's old news now that Brain Williams of NBC exaggerated his Iraq War story of a helicopter being fired upon by a RPG (Rocket Propelled Grenade). The event happened in 2003, and Williams spoke of it several times over the next decade, always pointing out that it was a helicopter...

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Scott Walker Ain't Dumb

(131) Comments | Posted February 18, 2015 | 3:48 PM

As it becomes evident that Scott Walker, governor of Wisconsin, might throw his hat into the ring of contenders vying for the Republican nomination for president, his education, or lack thereof, has become the focal point for opponents. Walking away from Marquette University within a semester of getting his diploma...

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To Kill a Mockingjay

(1) Comments | Posted February 4, 2015 | 5:02 PM

Harper Lee is publishing another book titled Go Set a Watchmen, which is amazing news to say the least. The fact that it is a sequel to To Kill a Mockingbird is even more so. Being an aspiring author from Alabama, she is without a doubt one of my heroes....

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Clint Eastwood Is Unforgiven

(4) Comments | Posted January 27, 2015 | 4:12 PM

I was introduced to Clint Eastwood via Philo Beddoe when Dad took us to the theater to see Every Which Way but Loose. I had not yet seen any Dirty Harry movies or even any episodes of Rawhide. So Philo was my first impression.

And it was a pretty accurate...

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Economic Recovery

(0) Comments | Posted January 21, 2015 | 5:23 PM


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Michael Moore Was Right... and Wrong

(1) Comments | Posted January 21, 2015 | 2:10 AM

My uncle killed by sniper in WW2. We were taught snipers were cowards. Will shoot u in the back. Snipers aren't heroes. And invaders r worse

Moore's tweet has been the focus of many headlines and a plethora of backlash. But, it highlights a subtle irony in American history that...

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Washington, Carver, and... Zimmerman

(83) Comments | Posted January 13, 2015 | 9:01 AM

As George Zimmerman finds himself in the news again for yet another charge of domestic violence, I am reminded of the thing that baffled me most in this bizarre series of events. It wasn't just that Zimmerman was acquitted; it was his elevation to hero status amongst many of the...

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'Eaten Alive' -- Bored to Death

(5) Comments | Posted December 8, 2014 | 9:17 AM

I still have my first grade report card. At the bottom it reads, "Neal is a great student except for an occasional snake." Yes, it took me a while to realize my teachers and mom didn't share my love of Eve's nemesis.

The Discovery Channel special, Eaten Alive, was...

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Rush Judgment

(0) Comments | Posted September 18, 2014 | 6:31 PM

In the wake of Ohio State University's new policies regarding sexual assault and harassment, Rush Limbaugh took to the airway to share his views. What people took from that particular show varies greatly on their opinion of Rush.

My conservative friends heard a man taking a stand against sexual...

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Where Have You Gone, John McCain?

(44) Comments | Posted September 13, 2014 | 3:16 PM

Where have you gone, John McCain? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Just like the lyrics of Mrs. Robinson, a lot of us wonder what has happened to our country. Where is the pride, the honor, the love for our fellow countrymen?

Most Americans have had their...

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Just Shut Up!

(4) Comments | Posted September 2, 2014 | 5:27 PM

Phil Robertson simply can't let it go. He keeps trying to explain his homophobic rant to GQ magazine, which might be partly to blame for the falling ratings for the hit reality show, Duck Dynasty. The problem is, you can't make people forget about something if you wont stop talking...

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Why the #IceBucketChallenge Works

(0) Comments | Posted August 20, 2014 | 5:18 PM

It's sweeping the nation. The Cold Water Challenge, or Ice Bucket Challenge, has become the rage.

You've probably seen it online or on TV. People take a bucket of water mixed with ice cubes and dump it over their heads. It's done to raise awareness for a number of...

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Goodbye Robin

(1) Comments | Posted August 13, 2014 | 10:05 PM

These are not The Best of Times Club Paradise is lost to some The Survivors are left to mourn And wonder What Dreams May Come

He was truly the Man of the Year
A Cadillac Man oh so sharp

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Yo Soy Blanco

(0) Comments | Posted August 13, 2014 | 6:13 PM

The shooting of 18-year-old Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri aggrandizes the question of police actions against minorities. I still remember the Rodney King case. It seems these events will continue to show their ugly heads.

But beyond these horrible headline grabbing scenarios of white-versus-everyone-else situations, I often wonder what it...

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So What's 'New' About the New Testament?

(25) Comments | Posted July 11, 2014 | 1:59 PM

There's one thing that will always be true -- people will believe what they want about the Bible. They will cling to certain scripture, manipulate the messages, and come to their own conclusions.

Clearly, however, there is a difference in the Old and New Testaments. The OT of course covers...

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Boy Is Their Face Red

(0) Comments | Posted June 18, 2014 | 9:08 PM

My Facebook friends are once again on the warpath. What has their knickers in a wad this time? It's those goofy Native Americans complaining about sport team mascots again. You know, like the Washington Redskins, Cleveland Indians, or my favorite ball team: the Atlanta Braves. My friends just don't get...

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My First Taste of Discrimination

(4) Comments | Posted April 21, 2014 | 6:08 PM

Being from the deep South, i.e., the Bible Belt, I have witnessed discrimination against homosexuals my entire life. I've just never personally felt it. My views are summed up in my Huffington Post article titled A Straight, Southern, Christian Redneck on Homophobia. So, yeah, being straight might have...

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The Universal Politician Speech

(0) Comments | Posted April 17, 2014 | 4:40 PM

Are you a politician with a big speech scheduled and your speech writer is out of commission? Fear not. Here's is the backup speech that will work anywhere, anytime, for any occasion, and for either party.

My fellow Americans, we are at a crossroads in history and we must forge...

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If You Like Your Health Plan, You Can Keep It

(2) Comments | Posted April 8, 2014 | 10:47 AM

As the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) hits its mark of seven million enrollees, we sometimes overlook the other numbers involved. For example, the millions of people who have benefitted from the Medicaid portion of the bill, or the ones who will benefit from the deductions cap, or the millions...

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