The black dad that you don't think exists is nurturing. He is soft. He is kind. Gentle. Thoughtful. Hardworking. Dedicated. Creative. Sleep-deprived. Caring. Devoted. Well-informed. Present. The black dad that you don't think exists does. And he is not an anomaly.
Parenting is hard, and trying to figure the appropriate punishment gains nothing with the force of violence. Especially because it was done in the days of slavery, and in spite of the fact that it was done to us as children, it needs to stop.
When my father and I talked about the military's ban on gay, lesbian, and bisexual people serving openly, he described it as an embarrassment to the armed forces. His response was always: "They used to say the same thing about me."