Not only is Sam Smith talented, but he's authentic. He is real in a world that is fake, and true to himself when many others are falling over to conform so they can make it big. I admire Sam Smith's honesty, and I respect his artistry.
Please don't. Instead, let me offer you six ways to gain the relationship edge in business and life that don't require you to be a poser. is what I recommend you do -- seek to help, give, assist, empower, and support.
"Whatever you do, don't use your hands when you speak." Many female clients in my consulting practice have told me that other, uh, advisors, of the male variety, imparted this conventional "wisdom." Why? Because "gestures will make you look aggressive or unprofessional!" Huh?
Once I started healing on a spiritual level, my energy came back. I changed jobs. I moved. I got back into the yoga studio. I allowed myself to be in a relationship with someone who loved and supported me.
A beautiful thing happened when I stopped caring about what everyone else thought; I experienced a rush of freedom! I was finally, after all those years, free to be who and what I was without worry and without pressure.
Adapting to a culture means doing so in a way that allows us to be who we are, learning from others while also sharing the best of ourselves. The problem happens when we don't just try to fit into the culture, but we try to fit into a specific mold in a way that is not true to who we are.
Don't try to be the funny dad; the got-it-all-together mom; or the always-perky coworker. They are great as they are, no doubt. But, we are each happiest and serve the world best when we are truly ourselves.
I'm not the health-chick who can order a three-leaf salad for lunch and be too full to pack in another bite. I'm the one who reaches for the dessert menu as soon as her stretch jeans hit the cushioned seat of the booth and orders her entrée by saying, 'Whatever goes with the 'Death by Chocolate'.'
The key to happiness is in not caring what anyone else thinks of you on any level at all, and in not comparing your life to a dream, a fantasy, someone else's life or a perfect imaginary situation that you somehow insisted into your life as something that must be -- or all is lost.
Be yourself. Sounds pretty simple, right? This isn't just the best advice for stepmoms but for almost every woman who's trying to morph herself into the expectations she thinks other people have of her.
Developing a healthy sense of self takes quite some time, if not a lifetime to accomplish. Rather than waiting for it to strike, though, isn't it better to cultivate genuine self-regard and compassion toward oneself instead of waiting for it to materialize from the outer world?
If you show up, do your best and be who you are -- I promise you, it will be enough. You have all that you need to recover when your feelings are hurt, you have all the talent and imagination and intelligence you need to make a positive contribution -- you already do it every day.
When you're "owning it," it means that you're totally and completely at peace with who you are in every moment, interaction and experience. You make no apologies for being awkward, nervous, excited, loud, soft spoken or other... you're just you.
How many of us have traveled the path away from ourselves to successfully return only once tragedy or crisis has struck? How much time have the dreams and passions you were born with spent on a shelf, untouched and gathering dust?