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Birthmothers

My Kids Aren't 'Lucky' Because I Adopted Them -- I Am

Ginny Gilder | Posted 01.19.2015 | Parents
Ginny Gilder

very time someone tells me how lucky my children are for having been adopted into my family, I want to gag. Instead, I politely tell them I'm the lucky one.

A Mistake Adoptive Parents Never Need to Make Again

John M. Simmons | Posted 06.16.2014 | Parents
John M. Simmons

When it comes to difficult circumstances, I always try to focus on what is best for my children rather than my own feelings. A week ago I came to the understanding that I have been falling short without realizing it for nine years, now. I say "not realizing it," but maybe I just didn't want to know.

Why the Decline in International Adoptions?

John M. Simmons | Posted 06.08.2014 | Parents
John M. Simmons

I am not "for" international adoption. I am not against it. I am "for" children having loving parents and being in homes where they have a support network.

The Adoption System Isn't Fair

John M. Simmons | Posted 05.18.2014 | Parents
John M. Simmons

There will always be enough homes for the healthy babies. It isn't okay for us to allow older children to waste away without their own forever families. We need to bring them into our homes as our own children.

I Believe in Paradoxes

John M. Simmons | Posted 04.22.2014 | Parents
John M. Simmons

Like any parents, we taught our children that they didn't hate their siblings; they loved them. And love didn't allow aggressive behavior. Perhaps we would have been wiser to teach them to control their anger rather than attempting to prove that paradoxes couldn't exist.

Adoption: Child Welfare or Business?

Frank Ligtvoet | Posted 04.20.2014 | Politics
Frank Ligtvoet

Most workers in the adoption world are decent people, but many have one-sided perspectives, which necessarily focus on the longings and wishes of adoptive parents, who are their paying clients.

You're Not My Dad!

John M. Simmons | Posted 03.19.2014 | Parents
John M. Simmons

I have teens. We fight. Nothing on earth is more natural. I always have one goal in mind when I find myself in that situation: No matter how much my child hates me when the fight is over, I want them to understand how much I love them.

Adoption and Slavery: Watching 12 Years a Slave Together

Frank Ligtvoet | Posted 02.09.2014 | Parents
Frank Ligtvoet

White parents with black kids in America are not only parents with kids; they make something visible we don't like to talk about: profound racial inequality.

Mother's Day: On Loss and Joy

Carrie Goldman | Posted 07.08.2013 | Parents
Carrie Goldman

This morning while I was running, my thoughts drifted back to Mother's Day 2003. It should have been my first Mother's Day, but life had been unkind, and instead I was clawing my way back from losing the baby.

The Day I Finally Got Custody Of My Daughter

Carrie Goldman | Posted 01.09.2013 | Parents
Carrie Goldman

You were already mine in my heart, unlimited by boundaries of law, time and place. Now you were mine on paper, too, and nobody could keep us apart.