The challenges of blending two families are complex, and require a significant investment of time, patience and compromise. Not unlike baking a soufflé, the process cannot be rushed, or it will fall flat and be completely undesirable.
I'm pretty sure there is no box for that. You might need a suitcase for all of that. And knowing that will not likely help you to relate to me, understand me or know me any more than you did five seconds ago.
Step mothers have the worst reputations ever. Even our fairytale stories are wrapped up in the "evil step-mother" prototype. We are the women who are portrayed as coming in and taking over the lives of children who are not ours and we are viewed as the women who steal the dad away.
As both a mother whose children have a step-mom and as a step-mom myself, I honestly have no idea where this supposed line is. It changes completely depending on the parent and I am pretty sure I have unknowingly crossed that line as both a mother and a step-mother.
As an adult, I have come to appreciate the circumstances that made my own adoption necessary. I know now that the greatest gift and sacrifice my mother ever made was the day she signed the papers and "gave me up" for adoption. But what about a child's perspective?
You may feel married to the calendar long after you're no longer married to your ex. As adults, we remember feelings and experiences more than calendar dates. With creativity and commitment, you can celebrate your own new traditions that don't depend on a number on the wall.
Christmas can be tough following a divorce. If you are single, then you may find yourself alone during a very vulnerable and emotional time. I know, because I was there. So here is my "Christmas Wish List for Divorced Families" for this holiday season.