Set yourself up for success by having your own back no matter what. That means that you need to be compassionate, kind and patient with yourself. That way you are creating the space for yourself to thrive, flourish and align with your true capacities.
While some use selfies to subvert dominant paradigms, many young women are using selfies in a manner that, like fat talk, extols the thin-ideal and Western beauty paradigm, continues the normalization of body image dissatisfaction, and reinforces the idea that you must self-denigrate in order to fit in and receive positive affirmations from your friends.
I think that four days is way too long for any mother to wait for six-pack abs. As a weight loss inspiration and motivator, I would like to share with everyone a very easy way to have six-pack abs right after having a baby. It is very easy to obtain, but might be hard to maintain.
The best part of this, that very few people caught, is that they are for now only going to sell the "plus-size" clothing online. Not at the stores. Apparently, Abercrombie has standards. The "fat, uncool" women cannot go into the stores. They can shop online, where they belong.
Intellectually we can all appreciate the message to celebrate the unique body that God gave us, the hard-earned lines in our face, and the marks that symbolize the challenges we've survived. But until you've had a belly that looks like an elephant seal's snout, let's leave these silly proclamations about self-love alone.
My little hiatus from shaving has been awesome. I've learned some new things about myself, engaged in some substantial, thoughtful dialogue with many peers, and got to play around with some social norms.
We've been socially conditioned to expect breasts to be lifted, supported, high, and facing forward. It's also true that style experts and laypeople alike feel free to criticize women whose breasts don't behave in these ways, regardless of figure, size, personal preferences, or circumstances.
I realized my pattern of staying with people who were emotionally destructive was a mirror to the pain inside my own head. I immediately put myself on a dating detox, along with a health and relationship cleanse. What I really needed was some tender love and self care.
Recently, the editors of xoJane informed me that a group of, ahem...people who shall remain nameless, declared it National Fat Shaming Week on Twitter.
A lot is written about mean girls and bullying, but not that much is focused specifically around the issue of looks.
By rating one type of body as better, you are relegating all others to worse. But, in fact, each body is unique and lumping sizes or shapes together dismisses that essential individuality.
The longer we believe only skinny, white, affluent girls suffer from eating disorders, the more we isolate an entire community of not-skinny, not-white, not-rich, not-so-young, decidedly-not-female human beings, who suffer, not only with the soul-sucking burden that is an eating disorder, but with the belief they can't possible "have" what's killing them.
Our bodies tell a story, and everyone's journey is different, everybody is different, unique, and exquisite. The only problem is that not everyone one respects that or comprehends that we don't have to all look like a cookie cutter or perfect picture of "health."
I leave the store boobs and head held high. I'd gotten exactly what I wanted and had never treated myself to. I go home to practice my shimmy for my next underwear first -- a black lace nightgown.
I lost over 200 pounds, but more than that I learned to love what I saw in the mirror. I had to. I could not do that to myself again. After hating myself and comparing myself for over 30 years I realized that I will have imperfections. I have two choices: Embrace them or be miserable with them.
Please, dear readers, be kind to yourselves and those around you who suffer from body shame and struggle with their weight. The violence and wounding is darker and deeper than you may think.