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Boomer Women and Sex

Why I'm Choosing Monogamy After 2 Years Of Erotic Exploration

Erica Jagger | Posted 11.02.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

Ten months ago I decided I was ready to do something I'd never done before: fall deeply in love with someone with whom I had a profound erotic connection. Sex had always been compartmentalized. I had great sex mostly with people I was never going to get serious with.

What I Want Young People To Know About Sex After 50

Erica Jagger | Posted 07.01.2016 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

This is what I would like all those to the left of 30 to know. You will get older too. Yes, really. You will get gray hair and skin creases and you will still want to have sex. And you will not care at all what young people think.

The Top 10 Things Every Midlife Woman Should Know About Dating

Erica Jagger | Posted 06.24.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

When my marriage ended, I wondered if I'd be spending all my free, non-kid time with my books and my cat. There have been weekends when I've done just that, but there have also been long stretches when I've dated up a storm.

11 Things That Will Dramatically Improve Your Sex Life In Middle Age

Erica Jagger | Posted 06.01.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

I was tortured by sex when I was a young woman. I went from being an awkward, skinny bookworm to a curvy 16-year-old almost overnight. I wasn't used to attracting male attention and I felt simultaneously powerful and powerless.

Women Over 50 Are Invisible? I Must Have Missed The Memo

Erica Jagger | Posted 05.23.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

Here's an if-a-tree-falls-in-the-forest question: if society didn't tell older women they were invisible, would older women still feel invisible? I loathe the power that stale older-women-are-invisible narrative wields.

The Sex Partner Who Rocked My World In Middle Age

Erica Jagger | Posted 05.13.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

Having sex with Sam has changed my life. It's not just the sex that's changed me. It's the experience of loving the man I'm having sex with that has completely, irrevocably rocked my world.

What My Nude Photo Taught Me About Sex And Art

Erica Jagger | Posted 05.02.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

The photo of me conveys a lot because a lot is not shown. Only the side of my face is visible. I'm nude but you don't see nipples or genitals. Because it's not totally clear what's going on, the viewer can project his or her own fantasy onto the shot.

How I Can Be A Feminist And Still Like Porn

Erica Jagger | Posted 01.31.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

When I was a junior in college, a friend and I went to see 'The Story of O', the sadomasochistic cult film. I don't remember how we got the idea to go, but I do remember worrying that I was betraying my entire Women's Lit class as well as my mother, who had told me growing up that I'd go to hell if I had sex before I got married.

My Doctor Told Me Women Stop Having Sex At 65. Here's My Response

Erica Jagger | Posted 01.26.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

A few months ago, during my annual well woman visit, my gynecologist asked me if I was sexually active. I told her I was and, yes, I wanted a routine STD check. And then she informed me that I wouldn't have to worry about those for too much longer because, 'women stop having sex around 65.'

Why I Want To Be Buried In Sexy Lingerie

Erica Jagger | Posted 01.24.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

When my marriage was running on fumes, my ex-husband would send me to Victoria's Secret with instructions to pick out something to his liking. 'Red,' he would say. Or 'animal print.' Or, finally, in desperation: 'anything you want,' which at that point was nothing that might lead to sex, the sex that was between two people with wildly incompatible desires and personas.

How I Learned To Love My Middle-Aged Hands

Erica Jagger | Posted 01.24.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

My veins wander and traverse each other, like a road map beneath my skin. They've always been that way, to an extent. Phlebotomists love me. But as I've grown older, and my skin has thinned, the veins have gotten more prominent. My kids tell me my hands weird them out. And sometimes I look at them and they weird me out. Mostly, they remind me that I'm aging.

What Happened When I Took Off My Clothes For A Male Photographer

Erica Jagger | Posted 01.21.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

Unlike my previous boudoir shoots, which had featured my lingerie and outfits, I wanted this shoot to focus on my sexual essence, with the lingerie being almost irrelevant.

The 7 Erotic Moments Of My Life That Still Leave A Palpable Charge

Erica Jagger | Posted 01.07.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

Last Sunday morning I laid in bed sipping hot coffee and gazing out my sun-streaked bedroom window. As I made my way to the bottom of my coffee mug, I thought about what makes some sexual experiences sexier than others. Sometimes it's the level of emotional intimacy. Sometimes it's the degree of novelty and risk. And sometimes it's just an exquisite blend of pheromones.

The Real Difference Between Mediocre Sex And Mind-Blowing Sex

Erica Jagger | Posted 01.06.2015 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

A few weeks ago I sat in a poolside cabana at The Avalon, a mid-century jewel of a hotel in Beverly Hills, eating dinner with a man who told me: 'To you, sex is art.' I was both flattered and amused. Amused because we hadn't even slept together -- he was referring to my blog.

Proof That 'Sexy' Doesn't Have An Expiration Date

Erica Jagger | Posted 11.29.2014 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

I really don't understand why people collude with a misogynistic cultural message. I don't know why it's threatening to see an older woman rocking a revealing outfit, or to picture an older woman having sex. Perhaps younger women don't want more competition? Perhaps men find a hot woman with life experience intimidating?

5 Reasons To Talk About Sex In Your Online Dating Profile

Erica Jagger | Posted 11.24.2014 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

So you're a single midlife woman and you care about sex? Then say so in your online dating profile. And no, I'm not just talking about women who are looking for casual fun, although that's a perfectly acceptable choice. I'm talking about any sexually charged woman who believes that good sex is a vital component of a romantic relationship and doesn't want to settle for anything less.

Why There's Nothing Morally Wrong With Casual Sex

Erica Jagger | Posted 09.07.2014 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

When Alternet picked up my post on casual sex recently, I got eviscerated in the comment section -- by men and women. I was accused of being a bad influence on young women, particularly my daughter. I was told my cavalier attitude about sex was symptomatic of the decline of morals in this country,

Why I Came Out Of The 'Good-Girl' Closet At 50

Erica Jagger | Posted 08.04.2014 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

There's an extra layer of shame to being told you're an old slut. A young woman's "sluttiness" can be excused in part because she hasn't lived long enough to buy into social mores, and she's too hormonal to delay gratification. But an older woman who admits that she likes erotic pleasure without all the packaging? That's not just slutty, apparently, it's freakish.

The Sexy Thing Every Woman Over 50 Needs To Try

Erica Jagger | Posted 08.01.2014 | Fifty
Erica Jagger

Here I was at 50, rediscovering my sexuality with new partners, and more at ease with my body than I had been when it was "perfect." I no longer have the time, money, or inclination to exercise obsessively as I once did. I have better things to lament than the situation with the underside of my arms. I look at the sloping breasts that fed two babies, the skin that hangs down slightly from my belly when I bend over, and I think, not bad for 50!