Unchanneled passion. Blocked energy. A disconnection between heart and mouth. A deep belief in my own unlovability. Themes that babbled through my past amours and my relationship with myself welled up into a pool that I couldn't not gaze into. So I started to look.
I followed my gut. The indescribable feeling was what led me to love and to heartbreak, and... the broken engagement. I had said yes to the proposal and yes to the dress I bought on a whim and still admired. It was me, without alterations. I still believe in everlasting love. Someday.
To lift my mood, I'd draw attention away from myself and focus on how I live passionately to make a difference. Giving away your own unique gifts, is a way to help you and others heal at the same time.
Is it possible to casually hook up or have sex without creating any kind of emotional response or a longing for attachment?
You'd think within a world that gives us genius little smartphones and turn-by-turn navigation we'd have created some sort of community for the ones who just need to hear these words after their heart is gouged out, "Hey, you're here. You've arrived. Don't be ashamed. You're not alone, toots."
Re-partnering can be a particularly frightening prospect after a divorce. Since the breakup, you've spent time on your own with no commitments or emotional ties to a partner, so venturing back into the marketplace might be overwhelming.
I was not planning on getting a new dog. Instead, I was searching for comfort, wanting to be consoled by a furry, empathic face. A small black dog caught my grieving eye. She looked up at me through the cold steel bars of her pen. I put my hand up to her nose. She licked it.
Take back your power. Trust that we all have a lot of options when it comes to relationships, but that the one relationship we MUST honor first is the one with ourselves.
I don't wilt in the aftermath and this is a new and hopeful thing. I can, in fact, exist without him, and without the others. It is a lesson learned: the heart regenerates with the best of them. The road to love is a winding one, 'til you reach the end and you reach The One.
I pride myself on being able to resolve most issues that come up in my life. I generally have the right tools, and I'm successful in making a repair or finding a solution. As a matter of fact, there have been very few circumstances in my life that I haven't been able to "fix."
After the mandatory mourning comes to a close, the only way to truly move on is to meet new people (gasp!).
Falling in love at any age is a wondrous experience. But love at fifty-something is different than love at thirty-something.
You learned, while being in that relationship, that someone else's constant sense of suspicion is capable of eroding your own sense of trust and self-worth to the point where you doubt your sanity as well as your integrity.
Those who deal in matters of divorce are starting to find Facebook, Skype and other forms of social media can actually be used for the benefit of both parties involved. Here are just a some examples of how logging on can become an asset for divorcees.
I can't dispute the fact that breakups are the worst. But sometimes, they are also the best. However brief the co-mingling of our lives tends to be, there is some part of them that makes us happy that can linger long after the shininess of a new relationship has dulled to a dingy afterthought.
We will never end up anywhere deeply satisfying by avoiding challenge. Each moment that we are willing to be uncomfortable in a relationship, to live in and through the messiness, is a drop of gold in the relationship itself.