We can't force someone to forgive. Therefore, the road to forgiveness may also involve understanding the person who has harmed us. This requires starting off on a journey that may entail a close examination of the person we need to forgive. The journey can be long and torturous.
When Gary Hinton was a little boy, he walked into his kitchen one day and asked his mother, "Mom, is that you?" His mother replied, "No, Gary, your mother couldn't be here, so she sent me instead. I'm a space alien who looks exactly like her."