You're in high school. After months obsessing over the love of your life, you summon the courage to tell them how you feel. Well, you ask a friend who knows someone who knows them to pass on the news. You vibrate with anticipation waiting for the reply, feeling an excitement you've never felt before.
When Matt was alive, I was too busy to think of anything other than his addiction. Saving him was my addiction. His death has pushed me into detox and now I'm trying to save myself. To feel needed and useful like I did when all my energy flowed toward his recovery. So here I am, the left behind trying to find a new path in life.