Here is our exclusive and nonexistent interview with Mr. Secured-Undisclosed Location himself (written, of course, in rhyming, Dick-ensian verse). Our one question to Cheney: "Why can't you just say you're sorry?"
Love isn't on the internet's roughly 1500 online dating sites, which despite annual revenues now in the billions, have reduced the mate-selection process to something akin to ordering off a Chinese take-out menu.
Maybe if the president and his enemies met at a well-stocked bookstore in D.C. and simply read titles to one another -- in the self-help aisle and from a few neighboring shelves -- they could finally find a way to dialogue.
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's unfinished stories. So it is especially frustrating to me when I think of my father on Father's Day, and once again confront the great unfinished story that was our relationship.