He's not into me, or at least not yet. I'm totally into him, at least for now. "I'm damaged. But u are amazing," he texts. Saying "I'm damaged," to somebody with cancer is like saying, "Nobody sees me," to a blind person.
Creating an online dating profile is awkward. Creating one when you have cancer? That is just another level of strange. And I almost did not go at the last second, when my nerves, and probably my grasp on reality, took hold of me.
I also used to hide that I survived Ewing's sarcoma (bone cancer) at 17 years old and myelodysplasia (bone marrow cancer) at 19. Now nearly 10 years cancer-free, rules help me live a complete and genuine life.
When we started dating I assured him that cancer was five years in my past, something I only thought about during my annual MRI that proved my tumor was still dead. But cancer survivors know the threat is always still there.