How many times is it okay for me to pick up a piece of banana off the floor and give it back to him? He is not consuming a pure organic diet. Is he going to grow a horn? Did I remember to wash the plum before I handed it to him? And, oops, is he eating the fruit sticker?
McDonald's may have its 60-second service guarantee, but if it's not a Sausage McMuffin you're craving off the dollar menu, the same buck can buy four or five Beijing-style fried meat-and-chive dumplings at dollar-an-order establishments all over Manhattan's Chinatown.
I needed an aide to help me finalize the war I started a couple of weeks ago. I knew no other worthy accomplice than Zio. On an overcast morning, I found him loitering next to Great N.Y. Noodletown on the Bowery in Chinatown.
Everyone has their favorite pizza place, whether it's the dollar-slice joint serving up saucy cardboard (hey, you don't need to defend yourself) or the brick-oven spot that's so hot right now you couldn't get a perfectly charred pie if you waited two hours.