Divorce is your time to become a master of change and emotional intelligence for your children. You may be hurt, but you are still wearing the cape of parenthood. You can continue to be the superhero by making your pain and recovery teachable moments for your children.
As you can see, decisions rendered in court are not based on all of the evidence -- just all of the legally admissible evidence
Holidays are stressful in general. And so is divorce. Combining them can be the final straw that pushes some people into depression. If this is your holiday experience, get the support you need to make it through but don't be too alarmed. It's par for the course and next year's holiday season will be much easier.
When you have an ex who is not equally committed to doing what's best for your children, don't expect yourself to make up for that. It's simply a loss that you're not responsible for. Do your best, but don't expect perfection from yourself.
Who cares if it's different? You can mourn the loss of what was, or you can choose to celebrate with what you have. It is possible to create new holiday traditions and have fun even though you aren't together as a family anymore.
Everyone in the family law trenches knows that such overreactions are far from uncommon as a result of the exacerbation of conflict and increased distrust resulting from a litigated divorce.
By replacing old memories with the new, you can make the holidays special again for them. And if they do the same in their other parent's home, they can enjoy an even fuller experience of celebrating the holidays.
If clients stopped requesting and otherwise seeking out destructive lawyers who are making a tremendous amount of money doing nothing but wreaking havoc and destroying families among other things, the supply of such lawyers would decrease.
Birthdays become a source of contention for parents and sad realities for children. It doesn't have to be that way. I am sure you don't want to hurt your child. In fact, be proactive and think about what you can do to truly make a happy birthday for your child.
If only it had lasted. If only I could have seen what was going on, if only you had been brave enough and kind enough to have talked to me about what you were feeling. What you were missing. What you were wanting.
For families who are divorced or in the process of getting a divorce, it can be overwhelming trying to figure out what to do having two different households involved. The best thing to do is plan now, rather than leaving it to the last minute.
It's counterintuitive, but in my experience children in emotional pain often have less trouble accepting or understanding the need for therapy than their parents do, and have less concern for any potential stigmatizing effects.
Evaluating the "strengths and weaknesses of the parties' positions" is often more perception than reality.
Whether it is a new baby, a big move or Mommy's going back to work, our kids need us to help them find their way along life's tumbling, twisting path.
I'm finally beginning to understand that one of my main priorities as a mother is to give my children a childhood, the childhood I felt I never really had.
As Justice Harvey Brownstone says, "When you start a court case, you are starting a war." When you think about it, nobody enters into a battle, fight, game, or other adversarial situation with the intent to lose or even tie.