Christian Grey as a leading man got as many things right as he got wrong. After all, women couldn't put this book down right? Christian Grey could teach any man a few important tips to bring into his relationship if he is passionate around sex.
We all know one. Perhaps he's a lawyer -- tall with a grizzly voice and the arrogance of a kid who's never fallen off his bike before. Or a Wall Street personality, less blunt but just as obnoxious in his superficiality.
He's creepy. He's that guy who needs a personality overhaul, the dude who's too controlling, too domineering -- out of bed. You want to dominate me in bed? Be my guest. You want to drive? Here are the keys to my clitoris. But don't pull that controlling crap out of bed.
I'm afraid that readers with a new found interest in kink will be headed down a dangerous path without further education. But, it's precisely for those reasons that while I'll be the first to talk about the problems in the series, you won't see me complaining about the franchise.
If you're skeptical about the movie being true to the book, and the actors doing justice with their interpretation of the characters, the best thing you can do is remain as open-minded as possible. Otherwise, you run the risk of shortchanging yourself as well as the leads in the film.
Fans defend the film as providing fun, pure fantasy and a community, but as a couples counselor, sex therapist, and teen advisor for decades, I worry about take-away messages from the movie. Here are my warnings.
What does Fifty Shades of Grey reveal that women really want? The movie isn't about women loving rich guys or stalkers or wanting abuse or even S&M. These features are exaggerations of common, deep-seated wishes for security, danger, excitement, adventure.
I must respectfully disagree with my fellow domestic violence awareness and victims advocates. I do not think that 50 Shades of Grey glamorizes domestic violence, nor do I think a boycott is warranted.
Timing and technology may have conspired to make a story like Fifty Shades of Grey a runaway success, but its poor grasp of bondage and dominant/submissive power dynamics may send a dangerous message farther and faster than we would ever want.
The film Fifty Shades of Grey is being released on February 13th, just in time for Valentine's Day. Sexual images are everywhere, and often the most awkward conversations involve parents talking to their children about sexual exploration and personal safety.
With the premiere of Fifty Shades the movie widely anticipated this Valentine's Day, I think it's important to look at what heterosexual men can learn about what women are seeking in the fantasy that is Christian Grey.