To prep you for your impending foray to a sports bar, below I've compiled a guide of the five people you can expect to see when you do venture off to Prime Time (which is the name of roughly 70 percent of the sports bars in this country).
I would like to manifest the following dreams: a never-ending bottle of Maker's Mark, morning sex (after we shower, but not before he pays me), and for the world to appreciate Royal Stevenson, the title character in my new webseries, Royal Sabotage.
Gavin McInnes's memoir How To Piss in Public is one that I highly recommend. It's not only insanely hilarious in a mental hospital sort of way but it's also so outlandishly offensive that you get tricked into thinking it is totally politically correct.
Are you pregnant? Feeling sick? Have a fever? Itching from a rash? Swelling of various body parts? The Republican Party wants to be your doctor. This is the place to get your state-ordered Gardasil shots and mandated pre-abortion ultrasounds.
When I asked about states that do not have official fruits such as Pennsylvania or New Mexico, Mr. Assef assured me that Mr. Cantu has created stamps out of indigenous fruits in those states, so New Mexico gets prickly pear and South Dakota gets gooseberries.
The characters and the events in Lost in Yonkers have staying power. They are immortal. They tug at our feelings. Lost in Yonkers is about family and they don't come any more dysfunctional than this one.
After a year and a half hiatus, AMC is pleased to announce the return of its hit television series Mad Men -- there's going to be a whole lot more, including musical numbers, celebrity judges and real housewives of pretty much everywhere.
Conservatives want government out of their lives but they want it to say who should marry whom, what you can or cannot do with your body, when life begins and whether or not you should have health care. This reveals a national trait: Americans have a love-hate relationship with consistency.
For those wanting a respite from today's low, "in-your-face" brand of comedy, here are a few tried-and-true classics featuring these top screen comediennes. These special ladies made us laugh -- and feel smart -- at the same time.