With his chances to survive the presidential contest at stake in the first debate this Wednesday, Mitt Romney has repaired to an undisclosed mansion to rehearse his answers to moderator Jim Lehrer's toughest questions.
Dear Mrs. Rowling, let me state for the record that I have not read your new novel, The Casual Vacancy, and though I have not skimmed one single page, I must be honest about the depth of your deception, lies, and skullduggery.
Can Mitt rise to the oratorical challenge in 2012? Or will he mentally hiccup his way through the night? Can he find that ineffable balance between incisiveness and mellifluousness? Or will he channel the gaffes of the last few weeks?
So, you don't have the time to figure out which web series are worth watching and which ones are just sad Youtube uploads by a former gym teacher who is Internet debuting his sock puppet rom-com about marriage counseling? Valid point. So, I've done that for you.
The time is long gone when America could ignore its Muslim population and comedian Dean Obeidallah is proud to have something to do with that. He's been making fun of haters for years, using humor to connect people.
It's possible our tone may be misinterpreted as overly stern by some readers and for that we apologize. We're simply making a statement of purpose. This letter is not meant as a threat. It's a teachable moment.
The other day, someone asked me if I had a philosophy of life. I pondered this very seriously for several moments before answering, "Hey, buddy, just ring up my groceries -- I don't want to miss the beginning of Dancing With the Stars."
So, if in my late thirties I'm officially a geriatric pregnant woman -- or my other favorite medical label, "of advanced maternal age" -- what does this mean? That I'll soon be buying myself Ensure as I'm picking up PediaSure for my kid?