I realized this space between us was not something blocking a connection -- a gap in the emotional circuit. It was just space, a space which had given my father the opportunity to see me clearly. And now, I could finally see him back.
It was 1979, and I'm not even sure I knew that a "straight" woman could fall in love with another woman. I thought I was the only married woman facing this kind of awakening. I was falling in love with a woman, but I didn't feel like a lesbian.
Liza Bernski and I dated on and off for almost five years. She would always ask me if I was gay and I would always tell her I wasn't. I just couldn't tell her the truth -- probably because I hadn't told the truth to myself.
An intense feeling grew in me to tell my family. I felt as if they had this fabricated understanding of who I was based on my Oscar-worthy role as a straight teenager, and I really wanted them to know the real me.