A personal relationship is so much more than its transactional aspects. And we are wise when we put that part of the relationship in its place, relegating it to a lower level of significance. We can instead work to cultivate a more mutual generosity and trust.
Recognizing the degree of difficulty in this task is nothing new, but that still doesn't answer the questions of why exactly it is so hard, and what the nature of the "work" is that we need to do in order to master this challenge.
Deep, compassionate, committed listening is what breaks the dark spell. Out of the emotional connection, understanding, a newfound cooperation, more trust, peace of mind, and ease is present in the relationship and in your life in general.