When I was younger the search for this mythical creature was tedious, comical, painful, bemusing, exhausting, frustrating, confusing and disconcerting. Now that I'm in my late 50s and look back on the guys I kicked to the curb as well as the ones I let get away, I feel mostly empowered. And this is why.
I want to take that young woman, the younger self who was so eager to be liked that she lost a part of herself, gently by the hand and tell her that pleasing yourself first is so much more important than pleasing others. You place so little value on your own being when you live to please others. And you lose a very precious thing in the bargain; your voice and the right to an opinion.