There comes a time in every parent's life when your child gets sick for the first time. One day, he's a shiny little angel, and the next minute, he's got snot running down his nose, and he starts to sound and look like Abe Vigoda.
Finally, just give up on ever living a cough free life. Curl up on the couch under a blanket and moan, "I'm dying. I'm dying. This has to be Captain Trips or Consumption." Or something similar while your family shakes their heads at you and turns the TV louder. Welcome to hell.