Every one of us will experience loneliness in our lifetime. It may hit us when we're single and spending Saturday night on our couch watching reruns or when we're smack at the center of a packed and pulsating party. There is one clear reason for this, and that is that loneliness is not just being alone, it is a perception of seeing ourselves as alone.
Despite what we may believe, quite often, we are not really seeking our own happiness at all. Many of us don't know ourselves well enough to conceptualize what we actually want. We conform to the notions and ideals of our society, our family and other influences that can drown out our own point of view.
The more fully we live and love, the more sadness we are bound to experience. Our inner critic tries to shield us from feeling the joys and pains of existence. It keeps us in a chronic state of numbness or dissatisfaction. In order to face our fears, we must consciously identify and actively ignore this coaching.
When we emphasize compassion over esteem and measure our successes in terms of what we give as opposed to what we get, we build a solid sense of self that can leave us feeling less stress and more satisfaction in our lives. We can overcome insecurities and accomplish much more. And when we fall short, we can take a positive and resilient attitude that ensures better outcomes in the future.