When my time does come, whether it be tomorrow, months, or years from now, I want to know I did everything I could to pay the goodness I've been shown forward. I want to live gratefully in each moment and for each person who has filled every grace given breath with beauty. With this grace I have so graciously been gifted, I will fight.
I am learning not to allow the past events to fill me with fear, or the unknown of the future to fill me with trepidation, but to live for the beauty that is present in this very moment. Cystic fibrosis may be progressively present in my life, but it will not rule by fear. I will breathe bravely: continually renewed by the strength and tenacity that live within, knowing I am never alone in this fight.
Why are we so judgmental as a society to those we sense are getting away with something, or being treated differently? If someone has that handicapped sticker, or is pre-boarding a plane with or without an obvious impairment, there is most likely an untold story. Many illnesses or disabilities can be invisible, and they could be fighting a battle we don't understand and cannot see.
The last month has sparked some serious discussions about my lifestyle, my future, and the reality of the cost of what I've been putting my body through. Simply put, I was given two choices. Either continue doing what I've been doing and know that it could ultimately be killing me, or make some drastic lifestyle changes and learn to respect my body and get as many beautiful days as I can.