There are some days where being single is really hard. February 14 happens to be one of them. You can't help but pass colorful storefront windows loaded with Valentine's Day ideas and gifts. You find your email box loaded with Restaurant.com and Groupon offers to wine and dine you and the sweetheart you wish you had. Everywhere you look it seems like couples are holding hands and kissing.
Looking for a single lady? Each February, Valentine's Day rolls around. Roses, chocolates, heart shaped cards, romantic dinner reservations and of course, the onslaught of commercials insisting that if you really love someone you will buy them diamonds. Whether Valentine's Day was a greeting card induced holiday or not, it can make those of us without a partner sometimes yearn to be part of a couple.
An overwhelming number of people who choose to enter the dating world after age 50 have already lived at least 50 years. And, if they are like most people over 50 (and many people under) some of their early choices in life, while not resulting in life in a maximum security prison, may have still been in the category of 'Actions I Took Which May Have Been Beneath My Highest Possibility.'
Back when you were in your teens or early 20s, you probably didn't date all that much. In an environment like high school or college, you were surrounded by men and women who were single and young just like you were. When you found someone, you hung out and really got to know each other before you fell in love and chose to marry.
There are three Bermuda Triangles boomer men can get lost in. The first is in the Atlantic Ocean. The second is a crude reference to a part of a woman's anatomy some men insist they routinely get lost in. The third is boomer dating, the subject of this article, and the three legs are boomer women, casual sex, and myopic expectations.
Almost everybody I've come across who's over 50 and was going through their first divorce said adamantly, 'I will never get married again.' A few years later, I've been to the weddings of many of those people. After you've been through a divorce, it takes a lot of soul searching to make any post-divorce relationship a permanent one.
We're the generation that changed the politico-socio-sexual attitudes of the entire free world in the sixties, so smoothing out our dating behavior would seem easy in comparison. Finger pointing won't help because we're all flawed. Dating isn't supposed to be a contact sport, and being able to see the unique person beyond their imperfections only requires a mirror.
It's virtually impossible to express a strong point of view about dating, sex, and relationships without provoking anyone. When I hear a boomer woman say she's given up dating, my knee jerk reaction is to argue against her decision. Giving up dating conflicts with my lifelong attitude about never giving up on anything worthwhile.
Ask any married woman if she knows any single, eligible older women and she will rattle off any number of names. Ask if she knows older single men and she will either have no idea or will suggest Ralph, her husband's never-married second cousin whose hobby is creating sculptures of all the former Presidents, using Styrofoam peanuts and twist ties.