They're as honest as they can be. If they're going to choose time with you over Netflix and a beer on the couch with their dog, it's because they either think you have a future together or they really want to have sex with you. And they'll be honest about which one it is.
I think what a lot of people forget when it comes to dating after divorce is, The Brady Bunch was a fictitious sitcom with two widows who found true love and a perfect life blending their families. Newsflash: The Brady Bunch is not a reality show!
Personally, I'm tired of being sized up, packaged up, or sliced up and diced up - and usually, by other women. I'm tired of being considered a failure because I'm divorced, and whatever the reasons, remain unmarried.
What I've learned is to focus on what's in front of you: love for your child, balance of work and play, and a fierce pursuit of that which gives you peace of mind. If you insist on these things, and your lover agrees, then you can make your way forward together.