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If you have something to say...
Say it on the Huffington Post
One of my best friend's father is dying and even though she's miles away, I can feel the sorrow behind the funny emails she sends me. Because she doesn't work and her kids are grown, she's had the time to go out and stay with her parents as they've moved through Alzheimer's, strokes and chronic old age.
Bob believed in democracy, and he believed that Christians should fight for the common good. It was devastating to learn of his sudden death this week in a dark time when his prophetic vision has never been more sorely needed.
Memories are like gold nuggets, nuggets with sharp edges that eventually wear smooth. During the first year or two of grief, memories may be painful, only highlighting the loved one's absence. However, over time, a shift begins to occur.
In the Boston interfaith service, though there were some words of comfort that dispensed with religious phrasing, a secular humanist could be forgiven for being distracted and put off by the repeated invocations to the Abrahamic god.
People are just living life to death. They are living it up, as it were. The health care system is tanking from keeping a relatively small percentage ...
I find myself anchoring my grief over the loss of this remarkable man in simple objects ... little things, like our kitchen table. That may seem odd, given that Dr. Ferré was the world's leading Constructive Post-Modern philosopher, but therein lays the eternal magic of his inspiring legacy.
The answer to the question of when you should begin the intensely personal part of your Healing Journey known as the 'go-through' is quite simple.
A tragedy like this brings us face-to-face with our existential vulnerabilities -- vulnerabilities to harm, death, and loss -- and the existential vulnerability of all those we love and, perhaps worst of all, the limitedness or our ability to protect them.
I feel unsatisfied. I don't feel soothed. Perhaps the problem is that I don't want to be soothed? Perhaps the idea that I might feel better tomorrow or the next day frightens me because I suspect that being soothed may simply lay the groundwork for another "shocking" attack.
I want to say to those who suffer today is this: Please leave space for grace. Please leave a placeholder for hope, because, if you do, hope will find you again.
The Bible says God gives good things to those who ask. God cannot give me a bad gift. He loves me too much. So what was the gift in losing my best friend and mother to cancer?
He taught me to drive his '65 Mustang -- white with red pinstripes. (I was not the legal driving age.) I remember backing into something hard and unforgiving to his bumper.
To ask, as we do, how we want our bodies to be treated after death gives us the opportunity to learn what Jewish tradition has said for generations.
When something like this happens, we often say, "There are no words." Perhaps we should not yet go to words. For those of us located outside of the Boston area, we may not yet be able to go to deeds either. For now, maybe it is OK to go to our vast broken heart.
Even if life is tragic right now, even if it won't get better right now or tomorrow or the next day, I want to tell you that you have the power to transform yourself and transform your situation and to rise above. To go beyond.
They are keeping you from loving yourself unconditionally. They are a crutch that keeps you hobbling through your dating life. They are the thick, wool coat that insulates you from being left out in the cold.
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