When someone kills themselves, it arouses all kinds of responses. Disbelief. Despair. Anger. Confusion. Fear. Overwhelming empathy for those who loved that person. Deep sadness for the one who faced such a choice.
I had to remind myself that no matter how much fame, wealth or appreciation we get as humans, the bigger demon is what lives inside of us. It is our own brain that tends to tell us that we aren't good enough or that we are just not worthy of being happy.
I've never had the chance to say these words to him face-to-face. And I don't know if I'd actually waste even one breath on him if he were right in front of me. But if I did have that chance and some breath to spare, here is what I would say.
I'm a painter, so of course I find statements about the death of painting annoying, but also sloppy thinking, since painting is what it takes to be able to even make the statement.
This short little video touched me professionally and personally. I was reminded how I really feel when the truth of life kicks me in the teeth. I was also reminded how fragile innocence and wonder are, in a world with strife and change and death.
Stop waiting for permission to live the life you want to live. You have the power inside you to make whatever change you want to make.
If you or a family member are one of the thousands of people who were widowed last year and are having these feelings, you are not alone. No one likes feeling powerless or less connected. Let's look at what is going on.
I had personally never given any thought to interment costs even though I am in my eighties. I thought I was in pretty good health with some good years ahead. Then I was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
There are still moments of sadness, moments when I yearn for the physical presence of my daughter. I have learned that joy and sadness will be part of my experience for the remainder of my life. However, I have also found my peace in a forever-changed world; that has been empowering.
How do we venerate age? How do we talk about death, dying, and grief? How do we comfort the bereaved? How do we honor the memories and legacies of loved ones?
A blanket of dismal expectancy shrouds every new festival or high profile EDM show. It arrives in the form of a vulture; a hovering media presence eyeing any opportunity to snatch up crumbs of information to then instigate "conversations" where dance music culture and its fans are berated, over and over again.
As part of a valuable experience I was seeking for a story, I worked part time for a week in a funeral home. You know, just to get a feel of what Six Feet Under was like. I have to admit that there is no monkey business to report after a few days, all is calm and regal.
From Arron, his death and now from Jim, I have learned so much about living life. Doing things that scare you, saying "yes" as much as possible, being exhausted in a good way. From Jim, I have learned that some risks are fun and have adventuresome outcomes and some are not worth taking. The trick is knowing the difference.
For many thousands of years now, the human race has been indoctrinated to submit to orthodoxy and to cower before authority, and to swallow endless nonsense from both.
For six years we had a wonderful marriage. However, before he died, not only did he leave me traces along the way for his departure, he left me with a deed on how I was to live through the years without him.
You will be coping with lots of emotions and handling many complex financial decisions as well. You may have had a spouse that handled all the family finances in the past. If so, this may be a significant learning curve for you.