In a wedding, you have months to prepare. With a funeral, you have days and you'll need to interrupt your own grieving to organize the deadly details.
What I have learned from this horrific loss is that I am stronger than I ever knew. I have learned not to take life for granted, and that every moment with loved ones is a gift.
Grief can be complicated, and there are several things we need to remember when we are going through it or helping someone in the throes of it.
Happiness is a habit, not a decision. Just like fitness, you have to work on it. Find a beautiful journal and write what you are grateful for each and every day.
After a time, the holidays do get easier and sadness lessens. I believe we each need to make our own presence known in present time and blend it with the past in order to have a break from grieving.
Once you think of your age as a needle you can move down the scale, you can conceive of your own life in a new and more controllable light. Age can truly become, for you, "just a number," defined by you, and not just the calendar.
I wonder if you would work very differently than you do now if you knew that your end would come in just 15 years. I wonder if you would spend time with your loved ones, invest in others' lives, and carry yourself very differently than you do now. I wonder if you would slow down in some things and speed up or be more committed in other things. I wonder.
I'm unprepared to be a mom who no longer has a dad. But that's who I am. So instead of looking to my dad for advice, I'm looking for signs of him as inspiration
As Kathleen reminded me, I need to stop killing off my mother. I have the rest of my life to grieve after she dies. For today, all Mom wants is for me to be with her... now.
Let us remember that grieving is more than social media, too. It is an embrace of those living that allows the darkness of our souls to receive light; it is a touch of hands that guides us through our journey and an elevated prayer for those who have left us in God's perfect order.
When you lose someone in your life who you love more than yourself, the experience will change you forever. I know I will never be the same. It will happen to most of us. and it's important to give yourself the permission and time to discover who you are following a great loss.
I miss her flip phone. She was the only person I knew who had one... and had her ringtone set to Abba's "Take a Chance on Me" to complement her whole retro non-techie vibe. She had no idea how to text and, most of the time, she had no idea where her phone was. It was part of her charm.
We are not ready. We are not ready to become almost totally dependent on one another, to be helped out of bed, to be helped to walk, to be helped to eat, to be helped to -- and perhaps in -- the shower, to be helped to -- and perhaps on -- the toilet.
In 1969, my father traveled to Japan on a business trip and brought back an elegant silk robe as a gift for my mother. They had been high school sweethearts. He was the gregarious student body president and she was the timid valedictorian. He wasn't one for giving gifts and she wasn't comfortable accepting them.
Is it okay to go days at a time and not think about him? Is it okay for me to be so happy in life? To dance and sing and love (and photograph)? How do I answer a stranger who asks how many children I have?
The inadequacy of words that console is exacerbated when a child takes his or her own life. It's a loss that adds the additional burdens of unbearable remorse and unanswered questions to already grieving parents; the general ambiguity heightens the pain and prolongs the grieving process.