How did our moms deal with our annoying asses when we were sick? What were we like when we were challenging little people? Did we tend to spike fevers? Did we curl up beside them in the fetal position for comfort? Unfortunately for us, we can't pick up the phone and ask them anymore. A few years ago, both suffered cruel deaths at age 64 with their shattered daughters by their sides.
My mom died of brain cancer when I was in high school, 20 years ago now. And for many years, I missed her vividly. With time, the rawness of her loss faded. Because I lost her so young, I find that I don't miss her as much because of the experiences we shared or the conversations we had. I miss her for those we didn't.
Your desire to understand has always been so clear. It's one of your fiercest personality traits, and sometimes you and I butt heads over it. I've always known that you would want to understand this, and while we talked, it was as if I could see the gears working in your mind while you tried to sort it all out.