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Dieting Humor

All of My Dieting Attempts Are Doomed

Wes Janisen | Posted 05.10.2015 | Comedy
Wes Janisen

My first week aboard the Healthy Express goes relatively well. I go to the grocery store and eschew all delicious desserts and salty snacks, opting instead for celery and fat-free yogurt. In the cereal aisle, I put down the Fruit Loops and pick up the Fiber One.

How I Feel About Your Bathroom Scale

Alison Rosen | Posted 06.25.2013 | Comedy
Alison Rosen

Instead of feeling relief, I was convinced the scale was broken, and not only was it broken today, it had probably been broken for years, and who knows how long this generous scale had been blowing smoke up my butt.

Eat Before the Clock Strikes Fast

Alena Dillon | Posted 06.11.2013 | Comedy
Alena Dillon

Let's say Eve really did just have to have an apple, like some obscure pregnant woman craving. I'd bet there was more than one apple tree in the entire Garden of Eden. How often have you visited an orchard boasting only a single tree?

Avoiding Holiday Weight Gain The Smart Way: Rationalization

Maggie Lamond Simone | Posted 01.08.2012 | Comedy
Maggie Lamond Simone

If you eat between midnight and six, the calories don't count. They're still there somewhere, but your body just says, "Eh, we'll let this one go. We're too tired to count right now." Voila!