On April 23, 2015, I read an article titled "Solid negotiation skills crucial for family lawyers," which I felt was an important read for both the public and my colleagues. I therefore shared the article over the social media and with the members of the listserv for the Family Law Section of the Los Angeles County Bar Association.
There is a word I hear a lot from men and women getting divorced. Actually, they refer to themselves as this word, and I have to say, it really really really bugs me. The word? LOSER.
While most people don't expect that these applications often see the light of day, the truth is that they do. You cannot rely on the broker or anyone else who tells you not to worry about what the application states. In many situations, including divorce court, that application can end up costing you plenty.
Sometimes, the conversation can go to far and people decide to reveal very personal things about their soon-to-be ex. In other words, if you are getting divorced, be prepared that your dirty laundry might be aired.
Sometimes spouses still can't hear or relate to one another's perspective, even after mediation, but as long as the mediator listens and can honor each spouse's feelings, that can be enough to get the parties to a resolution.
There isn't one specific reason for failed marriages, but we can try to slow down, spending more time on getting to know each other and ourselves before we run into relationships or marriages.
As soon as you know you don't want to be with someone, let them go. Don't do the slow fade and eventually disappear. Be an adult and end it with love, honesty and compassion. It's really disrespectful to lead someone on when you are not sure what you want.
Divorce can be a tough process that heightens emotions and tensions. Removing yourself completely from the threatening environment can often be the best course of action and always call the police if you do not feel safe. Then move ahead with consulting with the family law attorney.
This may sound easy, but with so many myths, misconceptions and piles of misinformation out there, it's actually quite hard to separate people's expectations from reality.
My parent's divorce helped me realize that love cannot be forced, and that you can never settle if what you want is happiness. Love is not easy, but it should always be unconditional and truthful, respectful and gentle. It didn't matter what people thought of us. What mattered was being at peace with who we were.
Whether you realize it or not, divorce (like many other life challenges) has changed you. Shaped you. Strengthened you.
So if you can't stay the hell out of my office, here are a few ways to get out as quickly, economically, and as painlessly as possible for the sake of your wallet and your sanity.
Dating in our teens and 20s was challenging. Dating in our middle adult years, with significant exes, children, pets, mortgages, careers and a boatload of emotional, physical and perhaps even financial baggage, may seem impossible.
Another attorney in the mix might just seem like an added layer of bureaucracy to you, but this attorney can be the key to your case. He or she will either report directly to the judge with a recommendation about how to rule or will be able to present witnesses and question yours at trial.
You stop being the person who something was done to. You start creating a life you love, piece by piece, and it's authentic and genuine and fortified with the strength of your experience and sheer will to transcend bitterness and disappointment -- to step into the world fully.
While no divorce is without challenges, getting through it shows your child how to work through hard times to achieve a brighter future.