Know that divorced folks are hurting in ways that may never resolve despite their best efforts to move on. Here are some tips for not shooting yourself in the foot around those who've dismantled their marriages and lives.
Divorce is generally unpleasant. Oh sure, we all have that friend who sails through it with a smile on their face and a spring in their step, never exhibiting an outward moment of hesitation as they move through the divorce with an almost unicorn-like dignity and grace.
I wish I'd known before I started the divorce process the many benefits of having a divorce coach. The reasons are simple.
Divorce. Not fun. Messy. Kids in the middle. It doesn't have to be this way. I had a "nice" divorce. This doesn't mean it didn't suck or there wasn't pain or hurt. It just means we didn't have to destroy each other or the children in the process.
I'm not saying that these are the end-all and the answers to your problems. I just feel like I know how kids of divorce think, and I know that if I were a kid, these are things that would comfort and soothe me tremendously.
Despite parents' best intentions, the wrong approach can create irreparable damage that follows children into adulthood. For this reason I consulted my mediators to come up with useful advice based on our experiences with divorcing parents.
Since this is the final article in this series, I am finally going to share the answer I gave the attorney colleague of mine who asked me the following question: "Any thoughts on how to make money as a family lawyer when you're not prepared to screw the other side?"
Little by little, it all gets easier and you do start to find peace, happiness and exciting possibilities again. And you also come crashing back down when the tiniest thing triggers the unhealed wounds that were created from the trauma of what you've been through.
A great many of my family law attorney colleagues believe that mediation only works under such narrow circumstances, that almost no cases are appropriately suitable for it. They believe that mediation is only effective in family law cases under the following circumstances.
Almost 20 years ago, long before divorce was even a thought (and I was still fairly happily married to my first husband), one of my girlfriends was lamenting her husband's lack of... well, something.
Shortly after my divorce, some friends decided I needed to get out and have some fun. I was teetering on the edge of becoming a shut-in, so I reluctantly agreed. In an effort to pamper myself, I decided to buy a dress.
Don't sacrifice yourself for the sake of your partner.
We separated and almost went through a divorce. We called it off and found a way back to each other. As we celebrate 17 years of marriage, there are seven promises I need to make to you. These are my vows for the rest of the time we have on this earth together.
Unless she did something unthinkably horrible to you, you might want to consider being friendly with her. It might work if you set boundaries and focus on the fact that the two of you were once significant to each other, which justifies some type of positive relationship, in my opinion.
There are over a million divorces in the U.S. each year. But, getting divorced is not something that most of us do twice. So, as first timers, with no experience, we enter into a state of upheaval as we fall into the divorce industry's 50 billion dollar a year maze.
Here are seven lessons about divorce I needed to learn on my own before moving on.