A person's first instinct in receiving a text or email that I call "an unsolicited attack" is to attack back. Send back a response. Defend yourself. Hurt back. But my divorce advice is do not reply. Do nothing. Do not type one key. Leave it alone.
I am of the opinion that any relationship which starts with lies and cheating has a huge chance of failure, long term. Why? Because eventually, the burden of the guilt associated with what you did catches up with you and it damages the relationship.
If you're in a relationship, it's even more important to understand what besides sex stimulates you and why. If you don't know what stimulates you, or alternatively, turns you off, how can you expect your partner to know?
Now that you've decided to file for divorce one of your first questions might be, "How much will it cost?" Unless your divorce is completely amicable, it can become very costly. But, there are a number of things you can control to help keep those costs down.
Never forget that a divorce is the final time in your relationship you do something together, before going your separate ways. Please be aware that you need each other for this one last time. Do not engage in new conflicts.
It's a question that every person going through divorce asks: How Do I Get Over this Hurt? They ask their friends, their family, their therapist, even themselves. They also ask me. And here is how I answer.
If 2015 will mark the first full calendar year since your divorce, January may feel not only like the beginning of a new year, but also the start of a new life. Divorce is a major life change, so what can you do to make this next year a change for the better?
When you decide to divorce, you're placing a bet that your future life will be better than the one you're living now. Even if the odds feel long, it's a chance you're willing to take. Yes, there will be loss. But what you gain may be worth the sacrifice of the lingering, functional parts of an irreparable marriage.
Fantasy only goes so far and usually does best in the bedroom (or in poetry). This is our sacred, precious life, it deserves our conscious attendance, fierce protection and pragmatic awareness.
I understand that posting hateful comments should never be done. But what about a positive message about a painful life event? Isn't a post without any hate okay?
Just as a brand new year is upon you, after divorce you have a new life in front of you. There are some powerful ways to make the most of your new life and this new year, and I'm sharing several of them with you here...
Many people are thinking about leaving their marriage long before Christmas, but when the month of December approaches guilt comes with it because Christmas is a traditional time to spend honoring your family unit.
Still, for spouses -- both wives and husbands -- who find themselves in situations where the wrongs that led to a broken marriage have crossed the line into wrongs that require legal action, filing a tort claim is a powerful way to feel like justice has been served.
I have to believe that most people, at one time or another have felt like they want to lock the door and stay in bed because of a broken heart, whether due to divorce, or a bad breakup, or even a death of someone close to them. It's an awful feeling, and I'm so sorry.
No matter the length of your engagement, your wedding was a day of celebration and future promises. Unless your wedding was completely void of tradition, your vows probably included something close to the following:
Now, nearly 18 months removed from our split, I'm grateful for the experience. Not for the failure of our marriage -- because with that comes shame and sadness that you can bury but that never really goes away -- but for what going through a divorce taught me about life and about myself.