What does a woman do? For the first time since my divorce I saw my future with a man. I wanted to wake up next to him for the rest of my living days. I wanted to walk his dog every morning (and I'm not really a dog person).
I remember the exact moment in my life in which I became an adult. Before it happened, I had assumed adulthood was quantified by credentials, like having a high school diploma, a driver's license, or a job.
The math is fair. The logic is sound. But the practical application still causes you grief. You are writing a check to someone and you have no ability to control how the money is spent or if it is even spent on your child -- the most common complaint I hear about the child support laws.
I guess I was. And I see now how much better behaved my kids are now that they have that better, more chilled-out mom. More polite language. Better listening and chore-doing. Fewer meltdowns -- and quicker apologies in the event of a spaz-out.
Having a clear picture of your pretty little details and unmentionables is a great way to start your very own personal single mom superstar project. Want to learn more ways to become a single mom superstar?
I told her that when my husband left, he didn't ask for anything. Not a single photograph. Not any artwork the kids had made. He wanted nothing, not a single remnant nor reminder of our 15 years together.
Rather than its original intention, of making things easier, I believe all this new technology has added more stress to our daily lives. But it's not all bad. Some very clever entrepreneurs have stepped up to lend us a virtual helping hand.
We simply do not like to talk about our problems openly. Perhaps we haven't really learned all the skills to communicate in a way that is geared towards truly listening to each other, working things out and finding a middle way.
It's comfy to repeat the same old sob story where your ex sucks and you don't. However, you are better than that. You don't need to put anyone down in order to lift yourself higher. Know that life is more rewarding when you aren't looking for the fault in others.
When I mention to people that I'm a divorce lawyer, they usually joke about how they hope they'll never need me. But then, privately, they pull me aside and ask me the questions that they have clearly been carrying around with them for some time.
I have been divorced for nearly two years, and I'm still not ready to have someone in my life. The idea of talking to someone every day or seeing someone all the time makes me feel claustrophobic just thinking about it.
Sometimes if I've been in a group of new people and it's relevant, I've mentioned that I'm divorced. That's a fact. But I don't want my identity to be "divorced." Divorce is horrible, even if the net result is positive.