To acknowledge imperfections, some of us have to confront our idealized image, a narcissistic view of the self that dictates we must be perfect. In this case, a mistake and the need to apologize, can be experienced as like a blemish that needs to be hidden.
Deep, compassionate, committed listening is what breaks the dark spell. Out of the emotional connection, understanding, a newfound cooperation, more trust, peace of mind, and ease is present in the relationship and in your life in general.
Happiness is like a gorgeous rose. You cannot just create that rose ex nihilo, out of thin air. You need to plant the seeds, water the soil, nurture the leaves, and make sure the plants get proper sunlight in order to create the environment for them to possibly produce the end result.
We need to let go of the thought that we can struggle our way to ease, fun and pleasure. That will never happen. Tough grinds will just create exhaustion and more reasons to work hard while ease comes from taking things easy.