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Eat the Damn Cake

The Question It's Time To Stop Asking Women

Kate Fridkis | Posted 06.09.2014 | Parents
Kate Fridkis

When women are asked what we are doing all day, the next question, sometimes silent but almost always present, is, 'Why aren't you doing more?'

I Am Surrounded By Sexy, Naked Women

Kate Fridkis | Posted 04.09.2014 | Women
Kate Fridkis

I rolled my eyes and pointed at the baby girl on his chest. "See that?" I said. "She's going to see that." I pointed at the giant butt. He looked more serious.

I Don't Care What You Think Of Me Breastfeeding In Public

Kate Fridkis | Posted 02.04.2014 | Parents
Kate Fridkis

Breastfeeding is not political for me. It's not a statement. It's not a battle that I'm fighting in the mythic mommy wars. I don't even have to tell myself it will cure cancer and make my baby brilliant. I just do it because Eden needs to eat and I need to feed her.

Stop Feeling Guilty For Taking Time To Be A New Mom

Kate Fridkis | Posted 01.23.2014 | Parents
Kate Fridkis

Our bodies haven't finished healing, and we're supposed to look and act as though nothing even happened here, it's all good. It's all just the same as it was.

The One Word I'm Not Ready To Say

Kate Fridkis | Posted 07.10.2013 | Parents
Kate Fridkis

I've fought to get here. I've agonized and plotted and cajoled and therapized and cackled with dark glee and triumphed and generally made myself crazy over it.

Why It's Probably Okay That I Don't Look Like Jennifer Garner

Kate Fridkis | Posted 08.21.2013 | Women
Kate Fridkis

So many TV shows, it seems, are partly about whatever the plot is doing, and partly about how beautiful a woman is.

The Man No Woman Needs In Her Life

Kate Fridkis | Posted 07.16.2013 | Women
Kate Fridkis

I am afraid of the way I look being the only information that registers about me. It makes me feel flat as a piece of paper, like I can be torn up and then flutter away.

Stop Telling Me I Should Focus On Getting My Old Body Back

Kate Fridkis | Posted 01.23.2014 | Parents
Kate Fridkis

I need to get my body back from all of these other people and their opinions about what exactly it should be doing and how it should be looking at any given moment. It is mine, and we are on an adventure.

Men Have Body Image Issues, Too

Kate Fridkis | Posted 05.27.2013 | Women
Kate Fridkis

People think body image is only about girls and women. When I say I write about body image, sometimes people say, "Oh, women's issues." And they are right. And they are wrong.

What I Shouldn't Have To Explain About My Pregnancy

Kate Fridkis | Posted 01.23.2014 | Parents
Kate Fridkis

And yet I keep hearing that I'm being selfish.

The Biggest Reason Girls Want To Be Small

Kate Fridkis | Posted 05.01.2013 | Women
Kate Fridkis

I wanted to be thinner because I wanted to be more invisible, because I wanted to be innocuous and inoffensive. I wanted to be thinner as an apology. As a defense.

Stop Accusing Women of Being Vain For Caring About Their Looks

Kate Fridkis | Posted 02.17.2013 | Women
Kate Fridkis

Vain? I had thought that vanity was the evil queen in Snow White, gazing into her mirror, desperate to be the most beautiful in the land. Vanity, I knew, was always feminine. It was always about beauty.

I Thought I Couldn't Trust Other Women -- Until I Met THE ONE

Kate Fridkis | Posted 01.29.2013 | Women
Kate Fridkis

I've learned to close myself off. Not from being friendly or having lunch or having long talks or lounging on the couch with a woman I care about. Not from having friends -- I find I have many of them now. But from believing innately in them.

How I Stopped Playing This Post-Thanksgiving Game

Kate Fridkis | Posted 01.23.2013 | Women
Kate Fridkis

Standing in my parents' bathroom after Thanksgiving, I made a quick promise to myself that I would only eat carrot sticks and watery gruel for the next several years. Then I went downstairs and ate a cider donut and asked the kitchen at large, "Has anyone seen the rest of the stuffing?"

How I Learned To Eat Without Guilt On Thanksgiving

Kate Fridkis | Posted 01.19.2013 | Women
Kate Fridkis

We live deep inside a culture that is always yelling at us to diet. That assumes we all, every single one of us, want to be thinner.

Does Exercise Have to Be About Weight Loss?

Kate Fridkis | Posted 01.09.2013 | Women
Kate Fridkis

I'm not exercising at all. And I should be. Because that is what conscientious people who respect their bodies do. Sex doesn't count. Does it count? Should I do it more aerobically? How?

'It Was Never About Guys. It Was Never About Other Women. It Was Always About The Whole World.'

Kate Fridkis | Posted 12.22.2012 | Women
Kate Fridkis

It's true, we need approval. I need approval. But the approval I need is my own.

What I'm Embarrassed To Tell Others About My Marriage

Kate Fridkis | Posted 12.10.2012 | Weddings
Kate Fridkis

I didn't think there would be a white horse, but I did fully believe that we were capable of loving each other enormously for a very long time. I believe that now.

Why Do I Slip Into Girly Voice?

Kate Fridkis | Posted 12.10.2012 | Women
Kate Fridkis

My tone went beseeching. It was wringing its delicate hands. It was wearing a little pink dress. What is this voice girls and women slip into so naturally, and then out of again, on a daily basis?

The Upside Of Ugly

Kate Fridkis | Posted 11.07.2012 | Women
Kate Fridkis

I felt like I'd stolen the key off of one of the wardens, the day I looked in the mirror, felt massively unattractive and didn't care.

An Apology To My Thinner Friend

Kate Fridkis | Posted 10.27.2012 | Women
Kate Fridkis

I've had to figure out that I might be beautiful anyway. I've had to figure out that I might not be, and that might be OK, too.

Don't Apologize, You're Beautiful

Kate Fridkis | Posted 10.16.2012 | Women
Kate Fridkis

Even movie stars and supermodels are supposed to find, memorize and readily identify their own physical flaws to prove they are real people we can get to know through magazine interviews.

Am I Supposed to Fit into These Skinny Jeans?

Kate Fridkis | Posted 09.29.2012 | Women
Kate Fridkis

I wonder what it's like for the millions of women removing their skinny jeans all over the world right now. Are we all suffering the same way?

Why You Should Fail A Lot

Kate Fridkis | Posted 09.11.2012 | Healthy Living
Kate Fridkis

It's a great feeling, to know that you can fail and keep going. It's worth a lot of failing to get there. So go ahead and fail! Do it some more! Do it lavishly! Try everything you want to try!

What Does Your Perfect Heroine Look Like?

Kate Fridkis | Posted 09.04.2012 | Women
Kate Fridkis

Every time a female character is described as having the "perfect nose," I know exactly what it will look like: the opposite of mine. It will be delicate and small and fine. It will never be bulky and arched and bold. It will never dominate her face. Of course not. That would be ridiculous.