I don't expect very much from Santa Claus these days. I mean, he's been a disappointment over the years. My desires are few--power, money, and fame, that sort of thing--but he's yet to satisfy any of them. So I tried downgrading my requests to world peace and the end of international poverty. But that didn't work either. He still didn't deliver. This year I tried to be more realistic. I had just a few simple requests. It's been a difficult year so Santa, this would have been a good time to give me at least something that I wanted. But no! It's Christmas Day and I got up early to check under the tree, and nothing.