As a therapist, I ask people to show me their bag. We help to root around in it to rearrange their probably too big bag to make sure they have what they need. Sometimes, we even carry their bag for them at our own peril -- oh my aching back!
I had just gotten my head above water. Why, oh why, did he have to appear? Why, oh why, was I forged as an all-or-nothing human? Couldn't I just have dinner and some casual sex like normal people? Did I have to want to rip everyone's face off and subsume myself?
One of the hardest parts about divorce is picking up the pieces after it's all over. Even the friendliest divorce (like mine) leaves you with all sorts of lingering issues related to relationships, love and commitment.
I do think that open communication is helpful and necessary in any and all relationships (especially romantic relationships), but I also don't agree that sharing every tiny detail of feelings is necessary either.