I've just been invited to an exclusive club. It's not the Soho House. It's not the Illuminati. It's not even Costco. For $250, I can get a membership into the hottest club in Los Angeles - my primary care physician's patient roster.
I'm a comedy writer. I get dark comedy. There's certainly a way to write a biting, sarcastic piece about a monster who locked up three teenagers in separate rooms and sexually assaulted them for ten years. And there's a way to do it without using the actual victims as the mouthpiece.
Last week, every single GOP Senator voted against the Paycheck Fairness Act, an act that would make it hard for companies to continue to practice pay discrimination, which is a thing where companies pay women less cause they have teet teets and a nana.
The Democrats have been launching word missiles at Mitt Romney and his reputation as co-founder of Bain Capital, leaving the private equity firm no choice but to address the slander in this very informative public relations video.
What a skill! Calling out the average looks of one woman by insulting the "conventional beauty" of another. It's like a weird competition all women are participating in, where no one really knows the rules and there are no winners and everyone is sad.
Women aren't the only Mississippians suffering from the strict laws of this ultra-conservative state. Mississippi has a tried and true tradition of making sure living life in Mississippi is as difficult as possible.
We're all sad that Oprah left our afternoons empty and cold and hopeless and depressing and lacking joy. But the good news is that there are tons of talented Americans who are perfect replacements for the Queen of Daytime.