What if 'Happily Ever After After' was boring and didn't come 'naturally'? Have you noticed that nothing ever comes after 'Happily Ever After' in fairy tales? And monotony works fabulously for lots of people and yet the biggest problem couples and individuals have is the loss of desire.
Freedom and independence in my marriage started with me not taking my husband's last name and has continued to be important to me. When I got married 29 years ago, I was insistent on the wedding vow passage where it states that when we join in marriage we still remain as two separate individuals.
One of the natural consequences of having the ability to imagine is also having the skills to use our imaginations to conjure up sexual fantasies. But, just because we can think them up, doesn't mean we're comfortable talking about them, or further still, acting them out.
When a marriage is going through challenging times, it is extremely common to become consumed with thoughts about how there must be something out there that is better. These ideas can feel especially powerful if there is someone else in the picture.
We're so worried about being either great parents or nothing like our parents that we're losing our ability to hold onto our SELF. Of course we don't want to emotionally damage our children, but at what cost?
Relationships, especially close ones, present a problem (and we all face this problem). There's no way that you can be in a close, committed relationship, and not have your spouse discover who you really are.
I was recently on a short flight from Toronto to Chicago and sat beside a gentleman from France. I normally have casual chats with the person sitting beside me that either end as quickly as they start or we find a common interest and talk the whole flight. This chance encounter was different.
When people have an affair they say it was because they wanted to feel alive. And when people lack sex ... what they talk about is a sense of deadness. More than anything else, across all cultures, people want to feel alive.
But, before you met this new love, you had a life, complete with friends, lovers, spouses, jobs, good decisions, bad choices and ... secrets. And then comes the inevitable question: Do you tell ... everything? And if so, when?
There are several tools that every couple can use to keep their partnership fun, sexy, and alive. The key to success, though, is that both of you have to be on board. Here are a few that you can implement today.