"When a person says to a friend, 'I'll see you later,' or a parent says to a child at bedtime, 'I'll see you in the morning,' these are statements, like delusions, whose validity is not open for discussion.
I realize nothing can replace a face-to-face goodbye. But I believe the digital clues I've been able to piece together give me the memories I need, and I'm grateful that I was able to witness his life -- even in death.
I didn't invite my family to my wedding, or call my mother when my baby was born, much less care for her and my father as they aged. There've been no Thanksgiving dinners, no summer weekends by the beach. No nieces and nephews to invite for sleepovers.
We all know the commandment, "Honor thy father and mother." We've also been schooled to respect our elders. But we also know reality. Older people may have less energy than the young, but they have more resources, such as life experience.
Nothing's worse than the loss of love and connection with family. The silent heartache that robs us of one of life's joys. We respond with denial, but what we too often don't do is let go, apologize and give up the feeling of being right.