There's a real conflict in the messages that go out to young girls: on the one hand it's study hard, become someone important, invest in your career and be independent, and on the other hand you have the wedding industry and the society magazines saying: get married, that will be the most important day of your life, that will define you and validate you.
We are not lovers or partners. Not wife or husband. We are co-parents, yes... but are we friends? Like, true "friends" in the dictionary definition of "friend?" We are friends -- sometimes. Sometimes it feels more like hurtful siblings: We get upset with each other, let it all out and then apologize.
Several years ago I woke up one Monday morning and it felt like someone had painted my right eye shut; only a sliver of light made it through the dark red that now consumed my eyesight. After a much panicked call to my ex-wife Arlene she gathered the kids together, picked me up, and drove me to the hospital.
There are certain things I expected to happen to me as I grew older. I knew I would lose some hair on top of my head (and gain hair everywhere else). But what I didn't expect was what happened the last weekend this September. It really made me sit back and think about the direction my life was headed.
Oh, is it easy to hold a grudge! We have all experienced hurt and pain at the end of our relationships, and some are more painful than others and cite more intense emotion. Sometimes the experience is so painful, it feels like it takes forever to heal, especially when our kids have been hurt in the process, too.