After all, the only life this child has ever known is a house overflowing. What would life be like for him with no peers? Who would help him absorb the daily excesses of our signature over-zealous parenting style?
Kid No. 1: Everything is brand new, washed in delicate soap and properly folded and put away in the matching dresser or hung on color-coordinated hangers. Kid No. 2: Hand-me-downs are washed and haphazardly checked for stains. Kid No. 3: It's cool if boys wear purple polka dots, right?
My son was helping make up the weekly shopping list. His items included Oreos, chips, tomato soup and-surprisingly-Weight Watchers meals. I told him that he really did not need to eat diet foods. He answered, "I know; those are for you."
It's a beautiful Saturday filled with potential, but it's all ruined by having to spend it with your mother-in-law. Here are some fun activities that would have been enjoyable were it not for the brittle sack of negativity wrapped in Chico's and Pandora bracelets.
Parents are feeling ill at ease and restless. It's coming. The end is nigh. For some, it's already here. It's spreading across the nation. Soon, we'll all be swarmed and overrun by hungry hordes of (sanity) killers.
You sense it in the bathroom while you're taking a shower, slithering about just outside the curtain. It's next to your bed while you sleep, and you don't need to open your eyes to know that it's only inches from your face, silently staring at you.