I don't want her blue eyes the way her husband must want them before they closed each night. I don't want her body, and not just because it's gone. It was never mine to covet in the first place, just like her life.
Knowing myself better -- which of course comes with age -- has helped me know what I value most from friends better.
Get truthful about what it is that you want, set a plan for how you are going to obtain it and know that it will happen. And don't be too surprised when the universe steps in to give your desire the bit of serendipity that it deserves.
"If your 'friend' expresses interest in another friend of yours, you wouldn't hesitate to introduce them," explains Coleman. "But if you feel saddened or threatened by their interest in your other friend, then you're simply NOT 'just friends.'
Making new friends then: Oh my god! I am totally in that same class! You are coolest, let's hang out. Now: OK. So I see from the stains on your pants that only go from the knee down that you have some type of toddler living in your home. Me too. Wanna come over?
Playing the diplomat isn't always possible, especially if a frenemy clearly crosses a workplace line. Feelings of tension can also hinder productivity for both parties, so it can be helpful to clear the air.
My childhood friends are my partners in crime, my trusted advisers and an eternal source of laughter in my life.
It's not always easy, especially as women, to foster sincere friendships. The ego loves to sink its teeth into thoughts provoking jealousy, competitiveness and insecurity. Women often love to hate other women.
The next time you call yourself, your daughter, your mother or your best friend a "drama queen," pause and ask yourself if you are avoiding your own feelings by not taking those of others seriously?
After that class, I started to think about how the people in our lives affect us. After all, someone I had never spoken to was contagious with instability and caused me to fall.
I'd like to offer a bit more "classical" advice with some time-tested and sage counsel from the scholars. Socrates, Aristotle, and even Cicero (renaissance fellow that he was), all had pretty clear and relatively consistent ideas about what constitutes a friend.
What if we could really be mirrors for each other -- and believe the truths that our greatest friends reflected back to us?
Forgetting can be a beautiful thing, but sometimes we live too much in the present. We forget about all the girls and women we have been.
As someone who has been seriously ill, I've learned the hard way what actions by friends can help and what actions can hurt. From lupus to depression to cancer and everything in between, knowing how to act around someone who is sick is a skill many people lack.
How do you fit in face-to-face, heart-to-heart time with friends and then keep those relationships vibrant? Here are 10 ways to prioritize and strengthen your female-to-female bonds:
I have two sets of friends: There are the brick and mortar ones who I meet for dinner, spend holidays with, and text -- and then there are my virtual friends, who are the people I have gotten to know online and who I frequently feel that I know just as well.