We wanted to know why women's friendships begin and end so differently than men's. We wanted to know why women seemed to feel more guilt, more shame, more trauma, and more remorse about the ends of friendships than the loss of romantic partners.
Many get riveted to train-wreck TV and dramatic news from afar, but when it hits closer to home, they head for the hills. Why do tough topics seem to be the third rail of some friendships?
Unlike male friendship, which is usually based on shared interest in specific activities, the keys to female friendship are self-disclosure and emotional support. As early as elementary school, girls may determine that having a certain number of friends and being "liked" is a type of currency.
I am no longer waiting for Oprah and Dolly to come out; I'm waiting for us all to recognize the centrality of friendship. I'm waiting for us to find new ways to talk about friendships as equally important as loveships.
One of the best parts about being in your twenties is that you don't owe yourself to anyone. One of the worst parts about being in your twenties is that no one owes themselves to you, either.
There are myriad resources available to couples who are looking for help to save a broken relationship, but there seems to be a distinct lack of support for women (or men) who want to fix a troubled friendship.
We express ourselves differently, have hugely diverse talents and preferences, look very unalike and speak any number of unrelated languages, but, "Women are women, all over the world."
How do you foster real friendships and dump the duds? Believe it or not, female friendships fall into categories. Here are types of women you want in your life:
What is it that makes us want to date certain people and friend-zone others? If we're cool with the benefits portion, why not go all the way and make it official? Where (and why) does the line between friendship and romance get drawn?
Go to your friend's mother's memorial even though it's a two-hour drive away. Go to retirement parties and milestone birthday parties and parties celebrating the end of a nasty divorce. Drive your friend to her chemo appointment and sit with her afterward. Show up. Show up.
If young girls form their ideas of Mr. Right based on romantic comedies like Say Anything and When Harry Met Sally, don't we also dream of friendships like those in Thelma and Louise and Fried Green Tomatoes?
The destruction I've wreaked upon my fingernails and all surrounding skin began shortly after starting a new school in third grade. Second grade had been a dream.
Just as you would offer individualized instruction and run though extra practice problems with a child who lagged behind in math, commit to spending extra time offering a socially-awkward child extra practice with friendship-building skills.
Pinterest. Rustic charm. $200 bridesmaid dresses. We're at that time in our lives where pretty much all of our friends are getting hitched, and for those of us that aren't (at least not right now), it can be pretty exhausting.
The ghosts of my friendships past still haunt me to varying degrees. The losses all hurt in some way or another, but the most hurtful time I've lost friends was after I became a mother.
What I've been learning is that it's important to press the "pause" button more often when something good happens and to leave it pressed down for extended periods of time.