I know dozens of you have met your soul mate online, and I salute you. I am not salute-worthy. Following are the alleged reasons I should try online dating now, and my first hand justifications for rejecting those reasons.
Picking the right restaurant for dinner is always important. Picking the right restaurant for a date -- whether it's a first meeting, a special anniversary, or a night out with the person you married decades ago -- is absolutely crucial.
Having dumped my Muddy Farmer, I was absolutely ready to play the field. I took a lot of glamorous selfies, and refreshed my profiles on my favored dating websites. A week later, I am sitting on a flight to Dusseldorf when I notice the man next to me.
Some lanky high school freshman kid with a too-red face who never got the memo on how combs work had that determined look in his eye of: "One day I'm going to look like John Cusack," and knocked on our front door to pick up my daughter for her first real "date."
eHarmony Gabe's soul is every bit as kind as I had anticipated. There is also every bit as much chemistry between the two of us as I had anticipated -- er, every bit as little? There is zero chemistry. Just zero.
I wonder, if part of what's wrong with the dating world these days is our incessant need to put labels on everything. I'll admit that when I see a person on a dating site say that they're looking for "friendship," I roll my eyes a bit.
I wake up exhausted from the prior day's double-header of dates and sigh grudgingly at the thought of doing it all over again. Dark circles under my eyes. Excessively large pores. Super excessive bloating from carbs and liquor.
At the top of a list of reasons why people blow dates off, is a simple lack of interest, physical or otherwise. But what about those dates where it seems like everything is perfectly aligned for another date and you never hear from them again?
Needless to say, Ben had a different idea. He grabbed a golf club from a set sitting near his bed, stood and faced the intruder. "You need to leave now," Ben said in (what I thought was) a pretty scary voice.
Sean had never been to Oakland -- that should have been a bright fucking red flag, but alas -- so I told him we should take a long industrial bike ride to a fancy cocktail bar near Emeryville. He arrived. My stomach sank. He was a full-on bro. But he brought me tulips. He was barely breaking even.
I thought her statement was harsh. And that she needed anger management or couples counseling. I actually feared for her marriage -- and her husband. Fast-forward five years and I completely understand.
While the "I had a great time" message was a lovely gesture, if "Let's go out again" wasn't implied or directly stated, what was the point? Not responding to my response wouldn't leave me thinking you were a particularly good guy.