Yes, I'm tired, exhausted and bitter. Can't you tell I'm at the end of my wits? My poor brain is fried and my body hurts. Sleep deprivation is truly the pits.
When you get older, things don't always work perfectly. Usually they work fine, but taking one of these pills is sort of like a tune-up for an old car that still runs but could use a tune-up. Nothing to be embarrassed about. You're just an old car. A classic car.
Are you sitting at your desk right now with your earphones in pretending to listen to music while secretly avoiding your annoying coworker? Well, you're not the only one.
Don't leave home without my crown and when I am feeling particularly good, I put on my princess costume, too. Swear by pink, violet could pass but I ...
I try. We all do. But the fact of the matter is, it's almost impossible not to cuss after you have kids. So, after much research, here are the things that help me...
Here are just a few reasons why I believe General Solo, who had not fathered children with Leia Organa by the end of Return of the Jedi, still might be the finest movie father figure in the history of this or any other galaxy.
Artwork that you are dying to recycle but are not allowed to recycle and that you will recycle in seven months when your kid forgets about it... 20 points
I can still picture the bright Sunday afternoon my friend Melissa, also known as "Aunt Melissa," surprised us with the red betta fish.
Engineering: Knowing how to install a car seat and feel confident about it, because tensile strength. Chemistry: Knowing that an unstirred cocktail will get me drunk faster, because viscosity.
She had picked up two prescriptions from the pharmacy, driven home and brought them into the bathroom. A close inspection of each tube revealed nothing that would help her to distinguish the rash cream from the ointment that was supposed to be placed inside her hoo-ha.
I'm simply not about to preemptively beg forgiveness in case my son disturbs your flight, and I'm certainly not going to pay some kind of tax to every other passenger just because my wife and I wanted to get away for a few days and we figured our son might want to come along.
When I was in my late teens, my mother would always tell me she planned to come to my adult home, turn my ceiling fan on high, and throw toys into it, just like I'd done when I was a kid.
After all the years we have spent looking into mirrors, why is it that we didn't have a clue what was going to happen to our bodies after age 50?
"Y'know, Agent Carter, I just happened to have heard by chance that the sale of marijuana is now legal in Colorado.'' "Yes, that's true." ''I was wondering... you guys have any kind of Honorary Citizen Program?"
Just like real dating, I had to put myself out there: I made eye contact; I was approachable; I was friendly; I visited the same places again and again, so I could see the same moms again and again; I asked for phone numbers. The worst part? I had an unreliable wingman.
With kids around, my husband and I have to get creative with how we flirt, communicate desire and find privacy. And it's amazing the things we now find to be quite flirtatious and sexy.