You must want the ball like you want chocolate cake for breakfast and breakfast cereal for dinner. Sure, sitting down and picking grass might look like a great idea when a player on the other team does it. But that is your chance to kick the ball while the other team is down.
We don't just become who we are. The outcome is very much influenced by decisions we have made along the way, people we've observed and seeds that have been planted personally or by others about our abilities, limitations, preferences, values and principles.
Let's start with what is undeniably the fall's hottest fashion trend: CAPES!! Lush, vast, flowing swaths of fabric, that just BEG to be dragged through the closest sippy cup spill.
Have you ever tried to cry and eat at the same time? It's difficult, but possible. Recently, I watched a sad Internet video and I cried... while continuing to eat my delicious Oats N' More directly from the box.
Well one child (in private) that he has always been your favorite and you love him more. Warn him if the others EVER found out, they would be devastated. Repeat with however many kids you have. Bonus: This will be the hot topic of the day at your funeral, when the beans are finally spilled.
Over the years, Rosh Hashana has become associated with many recognizable objects and foods which you might see depicted on Rosh Hashana greeting cards or synagogue pamphlets.
LBL was reminded that the last time, she, herself, was in such a panting, sweaty state was in 1968 and she was backstage at the Newport Folk Festival, in a van with one of the members of the sound crew.
I don't know what happened in the garment industry, but it seems it has completely dispensed with its 2,000-year history of manufacturing clothing for the purpose of, well, clothing. Although we now have more options than ever with myriad styles, cuts and washes, sadly, none of them fit. It seems a cruel paradox.
All it takes is a practiced routine, a few (dozen) simple steps, and the patience of a saint to guide your kids to a night of dreamy splendor.
After a 30-minute-car ride of listening to poop and butt jokes, you arrive at the laser tag arena. Dread begins to fill your heart, as the attendant has just informed you that there is NO ROOM for your party of 13. Your palms begin to sweat.
After the Time of Potty, he washed his hands and his clothes and the floor and those around him. And then poopeth he did go. Not on the potty, but behind the potted plant. Because it was safe. And they sighed deeply and whispered the Prayer of the Pull-Up.
Yeah, I know it's hard. I know your hands are bleeding from cutting carrots into little flowers. I know your eyes hurt from placing nori leaf eyes on those chicken nuggets. Suck it up.
I mean, people my age are having babies... legit babies... by choice. Those are the types of things taking up my newsfeed now. No neon-clad party-goers because, to be honest, are the kids even partying in neon anymore?
The silver lining here is that with risqué photos and nude selfies popping up pretty much everywhere in our culture (Anthony Weiner ring any bells?), nefarious government or Mafioso types will find it increasingly hard to blackmail anyone anymore.
MENOPAUSEOPOLY: The classic game of monopolizing stuff from your opponents as you wearily drag your little pewter token -- a miniature fan, a Naturalizer high heel shoe, L'Oreal hair color kit -- around the board attempting to purchase back the properties of your Mind, Body and Spirit
Have you ever been sitting across from your inquisitive child and wondered, How the hell am I going to possibly explain such a thing to this kid in a way that he'll actually 'get it'? Well, this blog is written exclusively for you.