While I enjoyed Borowitz' delicious satirical cake, it is ironic but yet a sign of the (political) times, that other Republicans have now stepped forward in the wake of the President's speech on immigration with statements that trounce Borowitz' satire.
Thanksgiving is an amazing holiday with amazing food and a chance to make amazing memories with our amazing families... in theory.
Put a glass of something in your right hand. Go sit yourself down next to your brother or sister and look them straight in the eye. They can see emotion coming a mile away. Therefore, they will get nervous, tell some really lame joke to deflect and head straight for the kitchen.
In my new book, Finding Mr. Brightside, Juliette gets dragged out onto the dance floor by twerking dervish Heidi and instinctive robot buster-outer Abram. What does any of that even mean? You're about to find out.
When everyone's going around the table announcing what they're thankful for in a few days, keep the fact I don't have Instagram in mind just in case you can't come up with anything else.
Technology has created what relationship researcher Scott Stanley dubs the "soft breakup." This is a breakup that is known to only one member of the two-person relationship. The other member is left in a quasi-state of communication, something like a flawed Skype connection, in which one party sees the other, who only sees a black box.
In an effort to prepare our kids for the dog-eat-dog, competitive world before them, we fill their days with activity. Schedule them from dawn to dusk to maximize their potential. So they can learn. And grow. But I fear that in our quest to help them, we may actually be hurting them.
In my friend Karen's family, they refer to each other's (often annoying) quirks as "features." I asked Mr. Rosenberg about my quirks. I thought he might name a few endearing little habits. Instead, I heard a list of my "features."
I propose that we ban all heterosexual marriages, defined as being the union of only one man and only one woman, and legalize homosexual marriage, defined as being the union of either only two men or only two women.
t is not easier getting older, but a sense of humor will assist and if you work at it, you will be able to use your humor to see you through those darker days.
No one was safe. I vomited on my husband, and then continued heaving for 45 minutes while the doctor tried to sew me up as I swore to her that I did not eat anything after the ice cream sundae I devoured at 9:30 the previous night.
When I became a mom, I knew my life would change. There would be diapers, sleepless nights and booties -- and I am one of those weirdos who actually enjoyed most of it. But what I did not realize was that I would never again use the bathroom alone.
What I've come to understand is that no matter how much I read about raising children, the only way to learn how to do handle things is by actually doing it myself. Children are all so different, even when raised in the same household, and no two tactics or books would have worked.
Thanksgiving Thursday is a day to appreciate all the wonderful things we are blessed with. Be it health, family, shelter, a great career or seven unwatched episodes of The A-Team in your Netflix Instant Queue.
The long-term benefits this practice gave me are those that I'm not sure my parents would have expected. Not only did it instill a love of writing, which makes sense, but it did a few other amazing things, too.