There are several things I wish total strangers would quit saying. And from my conversations with other moms, I'm not the only one who hears them.
I know my husband has Male Pattern Blindness, a condition that afflicts many men. But that doesn't mean it doesn't drive me absolutely insane. So tell me, does this happen in your house too?
I know I should've been ecstatic, but when I finished writing my first novel -- I was bereft. I couldn't stop thinking about Caroline, Andy, Lilly, all my characters. We'd been together for so long. It's not a secret that I spent more time with them than my real family. I never prepared myself for life without them.
Good idea, Navigator. Just block the street until someone lets you in. You probably don't contribute to the teacher's Christmas gift, either.
Long line for the loo at Starbucks? No problem. Tell your kid to cross their legs, grab at their crotch and do the pee dance while loudly proclaiming that the "poo is coming NOW, mommy."
I figured a lot had changed since I was in school, but getting my son's first report card threw me for the biggest loop.
Personally, I've always thought the whole point of school pictures is to provide an authentic representation of childhood -- to record every shift of the dental landscape, document every boo-boo, remind us of an unrequited love affair with bangs.
If you think that game shows are just about trivia, spelling, quick reflexes and a way for Midwestern housewives to show America what they look like in a donkey suit, then you don't know game shows.
Without realizing it we are constantly evaluating our own behavior, successes and "perceived" failures. This is how we have been conditioned. It's time for a change.
My husband and I are a team for many reasons, but primarily so that the children can't outnumber us. You want to get drinks and talk about your cheating arse of a boyfriend? Great! Grab a sippy cup and use your big words so the children won't understand you.
The following is based on an actual conversation about eating babies. Don't act like you haven't had one of those.
Believe us when we tell you that there are many other parents out there with kids waaaay more f'ed up than yours. Want proof? Here are 17 anonymous submissions from parents who gladly wrote down "The Most F-Ed Up Thing My Kid Has Done."
You eat things like brussel sprouts... AND ENJOY THEM. I love them roasted with a little bit of oil and salt. I never would have given them a second thought if I was younger.
By Jerry Zezima The late, great humorist Erma Bombeck once said, "Housework, if you do it right, can kill you." Since I am still alive, thanks to my...
'Sixty is the new 40.' It's a common aphorism we've heard for some time now, doubtless meant to calm us baby boomers who are growing so long in the tooth that we now need two hands to hold our toothbrushes. And reassuring it indeed is.
Rather than feel a little sad for yourself when the rest of the world is talking about the complicated relationships in This is Where I Leave You or what they think of Angelina's second directorial effort, take comfort in reviewing this handy guide to your must-see fall movies.