Funny Tweets

"I get it dogs, I too want a little treat when I do something right"
"my cat just walks up to me, says what I can only believe to be a slur & just saunters away."
"my cat talks a mad amount of s**t for being a creature i can easily pick up and wiggle"
"love when a dog has a stupid name. what do you mean this idiot answers to Typewriter"
"can’t explain it but travis kelce has ginger cat energy"
"too many white cats being named things like snowball or marshmallow. what about freaky ass white boy"
"Garfield hating Mondays without having a job is stolen valor."
"Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university."
"my dog would freak tf out if she knew she was made of bones"
"When I leave for more than four hours my cat gets so upset she throws up so sometimes I look at my boyfriend and I'm like do you even love me"