Hand wash in room-temperature sparkling water only. Mineral water is okay in a pinch but, my god, never tap. Do not wear if you had or plan to have a big lunch. Do not wear these pants if you are too curvy; your body pressures the pants to perform the responsibility of being pants.
The sloths are set to take over the world. Not bad going for an animal with a reputation for being lazy.
Check out Tom Falco's cartoons daily at Tomversation.com or at the iPhone app Comic Cha...
When it comes to men, Miami definitely has an interesting variety to choose from. I dare you to say that you don't know at least 10 of the guys on the list. Heck, you don't even have to be from the 305 to identify. It's never been harder out here for a lady pimp.
Every day, I get a text with some sort of code that I can't understand. And believe me, I try to figure it out. I make up what I think the letters stand for and then hope that I'm wrong. How dare they say that?
God Hates Astronauts is probably one of the weirdest comic books I've ever read. I mean that in the most endearing way possible.
I paced down the steps of my platform with false optimism on my side until I nearly tripped over an object laid upon the floor just round the corner from the steps. With coffee and balance intact, I looked back to notice a crow on the platform floor. A dead crow.
The door opened and the instructor walked in. Tall, tan, smiling with huge, beautiful teeth nearly radioactive in brightness, she flicked a cascade of perfect blonde extensions from her face as she cleared her throat. Pamela Anderson was about to teach me yoga.
I need to blow off some steam and where better to head than to LA's hottest FREE hotspot, Runyon Canyon? It's LA's equivalent to Everest's base camp: a smorgasbord of dogs, celebs, trannies, sweaty shirtless bods, gangsters, strollers, and every cliché LA has to offer.
Follow Tom Falco's Daily Comic and Blog
My husband and I both have cat allergies but took a chance on the myth that this breed of kitten was hypoallergenic. Good news is, my husband hasn't had so much as one allergic sniffle. Bad news? I instantly plummeted into allergy hell.
In 2007 I flew to Stockholm to meet five of my friends. We all live in different cities around the world - Paris, Frankfurt, New York, London, and Sin...
So desperate and hungry were people for accessible fiction that "speaks their language," they turned a bastardized Twilight f**kfest fan-fiction turnip into a pop culture phenomenon. Imagine how well something as sexy as a contemporary Tropic of Cancer or Lolita would do in this day and age?
The epicenter of American politics, it is known for its rich history and culture, both of which are illuminated in many of the city's top-rated responses.
In my last post, I provided fodder for the haters by recounting the story of my DIY Diva Wedding Hell. You would think, after that experience, not getting a wedding planner was my biggest regret. Nope, second biggest.