If you feel the need to utter these words to a pregnant woman in your life, or, God forbid, a woman you've just met, please know that she's calculating just how far she can reach beyond her belly to strangle the life out of you.
Real talk: Ingredients on the side are not the same as ingredients on the food item. There's a psychological difference that impacts the taste. Picky appetizer people ruin meals (and lives).
Dan: Okay Trixie, after dinner, you're going to have your poop try. T: (very enthusiastically) Okay!
I never thought I was superstitious. Fridays that fell on the 13th usually ended as a great day. I didn't have triskaidekaphobia- any ill feelings to...
My GOD Oscar, I was giving you a compliment! I was saying something nice about you, TO you. Give me that. (Grabs Lego) Oscar. Listen. Do I have your attention? Good. I am proud of you for the--
@Magneto Genius/Scientist/Leader/Fluent in tons of languages/Intuit/savior of all mutants/Master Strategist/Crafter (visit my Etsy shop)/and the list ...
Due to the fact that these are all random strangers I have come to find their particularly hateful comments quite humorous. They make for laughable dinner conversation with my family and therefore I thought I would share them.
Cast: Dan=Dad , O=Son (age 5), T=Daughter (age 3).
Last year my 8-year-old son went to summer camp. It was the first time he had been away from home for more than a night. As the days passed, I began to imagine what he might write to me.
A good friend of mine who teaches walked into his classroom this afternoon to discover that one of his students had decided to enumerate their introspections on the classroom board.
Taking the best of your culture and passing it onto your kids is a constant work in progress. You have to be prepared for battle from a myriad of external forces, but right now when they are learning right from wrong, is as good a time as ever to start. Enjoy the ride and hands inside the cart at all times.
Fatherhood is full of unscripted moments like these. To excel at it, or at least to keep our heads above water, we dads must be nimble enough every single day.
Can you stare into space for hours on end? Well, neither can I. But I can do a good solid 5 minutes of not blinking where you'd swear I'm gazing straight into your soul. And you know why you feel that way? Because I'm gazing straight into your soul.
My dad is hard to buy for. It's not his fault; we just don't have much in common. He collects knives; I collect parking tickets. He likes to eat chicken fried steak; I like to eat mimosas.
Who else will tell you it's their loss when you're rejected by a boy or a friend or a publisher? Who else remembers fondly the dance routine you made up to "Cool Rider" from Grease 2 and will tell you with a straight face that it was a very good performance?
What is a comedian? Is it somebody who is able to bravely approach the deeply complicated questions that always haunt a society? A poet who incredib...