No dear, I don't know why the guy you're into won't text you back. (I still haven't figured that out for my own purposes.) And, for the love of all that is good and HOLY: I am not -- repeat, NOT -- an honorary girl.
It was one of the most powerful moments we shared when he revealed his personal struggles with love, relationships, and fears of being "found out." Now, I understood the great lengths he had gone to fool friends and family. But he couldn't have understood how much he had fooled me.
This is why we quad date, which is really just dating other duos -- a girl and her gay best friend -- but the word 'quad' is more fun. Put it this way, it's like going to the movies with your best friend: You can whisper to each other during the show, and then analyze it after.
Leave the overnight bag with your 6 inch heels, tight dress and bronzing lotion at home. Instead, bring a toiletry bag because there is everything right about reapplying make-up, combing your hair and Chanel No.5 when heading from cubicle to cocktail.
Vamping down the runway in their clodhopper high heels, those reckless, ironic drag queens appeared as beacons to me, fur-coat aunties from somewhere in my spiritual family tree. What a little pioneer of gender dysphoria I was.
So many girls "just want a gay best friend," and can you blame them? Why shouldn't all ladies want a man who will just listen and go shopping but isn't a total betch like their girlfriends are can be? The thing is that grouping all gay men into this "gay best friend" bundle counts as stereotyping.
In a recent Cosmopolitan article, "I Am Marrying My Gay Best Friend," we read the sweet, confusing and, for me, occasionally nauseating story of a girl falling in love with her gay best friend, whom she is now engaged to.
One of the great things about being a freelancer is that you are not obliged to attend any holiday office parties, but when a dear friend begged me to be her plus one at her advertising agency Christmas soiree, I had no choice but to say yes.
For me women were a safe way to explore the world, offering relationships uncomplicated by sex. They were my "in" to relationships, teaching me how to build trust and make real connections with the objects of my affection. There should be a better name for this kind of friendship.
Without sexual tension and social norms, the love between a gay man and a straight woman is not clouded by expectations or unwelcome erections. Something deeper, something magical, something liberating happens, and the rest is history.
I love my gay best friend, not least because he has the same plumbing and wiring as the men I date. It's not a bad idea to have someone on call who has deep technical knowledge -- it's like calling AppleCare.