Most people judge the gay spouses of mixed-orientation couples, asking why they married in the first place. They judge the straight spouse for wanting to stay. Others judge the couple if they choose to remain together and make a go of it.
Gradually, I began to recover the memories of our love. They contradicted the story of betrayal and disappointment I had told myself all those years. And then I had to face a very hard question. After the anger over a betrayal, what do you do with the love?
It's painful to disentangle yourself emotionally from someone you love, whether he's a boyfriend, fiancé or husband, but it's significantly easier to untie yourself from someone legally if you haven't sworn, "Till death do us part."